


Icarus

by Kahnah



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Kidnapping, M/M, Manipulation, Murdering, Serial Killers, Sexual Content, Unhealthy Relationships, might be disturbing to some ppl, neither of this is too explicit though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:08:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7557790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahnah/pseuds/Kahnah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know how this will end?” Ryan asked quietly, moving a little closer, wanting to feel the heartbeat not only beneath his fingers. “One of us will kill the other.”<br/>Gavin chuckled, and he found himself missing the vibration of it when the younger pulled his hand from his throat to kiss his palm.<br/>“That’s what I’m counting on, love.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go again, guys! As always, check the tags out because this might be a bit macabre and I want you guys to be comfortable - besides that, please enjoy!

Icarus

 

Chapter 1

The Sun

 

Ryan Haywood’s life was pretty uneventful, which was exactly how he wanted it to be. It had all worked out how he had planned it.

From the little, cozy farmhouse where he lived with his parents, to the small fleet of dogs that he called his own. They were the only animals on the grounds but they were loyal, waiting for him whenever he returned home from school to greet him. They were his exchange for friends, but that was also fine.

Friends weren’t part of the plan.

Just like homesickness wasn’t, so he ignored it as he moved out from the farm house. Away from golden sunlight and dusty streets and into the city. Gray buildings and artificial colors. A sun that set too early and took way too long to bring light into the valleys between the skyscrapers. It was a sad, dull sight, but it was where he lived now.

He was smart, had an understanding of technology, and so to study IT was the next reasonable step he took.

His time in college wasn’t ‘wild’ or ‘free’ as it was usually advertised. He spent most of his time learning and playing video games. He started to smoke, which was the most he had ever rebelled against his parents at that point in his life, not that he ever told them.

He graduated with honors, and within two months he started working with a big software company.

He wasn’t anyone important, but he earned enough money to get a nice apartment and besides that, he didn’t really spend it on much. Part of the plan was to work his way up, to get promoted for his performance, and saving some money was only reasonable in case things didn’t work out as fast as expected.

He just hadn’t anticipated things to derail the way they did.

Someone did a major fuck up. A big security hole in an ever bigger project throwing a bad light on the company.

They needed a scapegoat to soak up the damage and Ryan was new and unknown and the perfect face for it.

So he was fired, which, while bad enough by itself, wasn’t the worst of it. His name was now ruined. The scandal was such a big deal in their sector that he couldn’t even think of being hired again.

And just like that, his carefully crafted plan had gone up in flames.

With no job and no perspective, the only good thing was that his parents didn’t find out. As much as it was a scandal in their business, it was barely worth more than a short article in some newspaper.

As long as he played pretend and his parents didn’t do any research, he at least didn’t have to admit that he had failed. Selling his apartment kept him from the shame of moving back to his parents, and so it was back to square one.

In his mind that was an acceptable decision, even if it meant he was basically living in his car, driving through the country with no goals and responsibilities.

For some that might be freedom, but for him it was closer to torture.

No control, no direction - it was like poison.

That was the reason he was on this road, leading to probably Nowhere, Nevada. It was stinking hot, the sun beating down and he thanked God for air conditioning, even if it was old and not working properly anymore. It kept the worst of the heat out and made the drive bearable.

Considering everything, he was in a pretty good mood. The street laid straight ahead, going through a wasteland with nothing to see but the dusty road that reminded him of home.

If he looked around, he’d probably find a farm somewhere. It would be nice to sleep there instead of some dingy motel.

It probably wouldn’t help him find a purpose anymore than a worn out mattress would, but at least it would smell of wood and hay instead of mold.

He was seriously considering that, and nearly missed the person appearing in the distance.

Things surely would have turned out differently then.

If for the better or the worse was another question.

Frowning, he squinted against the heat wavering in the air and sure enough, at the side of the street stood a lonely figure, hand raised. As he came closer, he could see that it was a young man, clad in shorts and a simple shirt, big backpack slung over one of his shoulders.

No hat, nothing to keep the heat from frying his brain, but Ryan slowed down with something that was curiosity as well as bewilderment.

Stopping his car, he let the window down as the stranger jogged the last few feet.

“You’re going to die, kid,” he told him. “The next motel is miles away.”

The boy just smiled. It was bright, even as he wiped sweat from his forehead. “Not if you take me with you. I might have a chance then!”

“Jump in then.”

“Thanks, love!”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at the endearment but decided against saying anything. Most likely the heat and the sun. He watched as the stranger opened the door and sat down, fighting with his backpack a little.

He was tall and lanky, somehow managing to wrap the strap around his knee and had a hard time getting free.

“Close the door, you’re letting the heat in.”

The stranger did so before buckling up. “All ready!”

British accent, interesting.

Instead of asking, Ryan drove off and kept quiet while the other fished a half empty water bottle from his backpack and finished it off. With a happy sigh, he leaned into the seat and wiped blond hair out of his face. He had to dye it, it was too bright to be real.

Still, it suited him.

“Thanks, mate. I needed that! Was getting well hot out there.”

“I saw that. Quite daring to go out into the desert like this.” Only daring wasn’t quite the word he would use, but no need to spend the next few hours with a pissed off passenger.

“Well, to be fair that wasn’t part of the plan. Some brick picked me up and then threw me out in the middle of nowhere! Wanted to kill me, that bloke!”

Ryan hummed as an answer, which was enough to let the other continue.

“Said I was scary and he didn’t feel comfortable around me. Around  _ me? _ Can you believe that?” He huffed in disbelief, his arms raising before falling back down. “I mean, look at my face and tell me I’m scary.” 

He gesticulated wildly enough that Ryan actually took a glance. A young face, the beginning of a beard that was more brown than blond.

Bright green eyes that sparkled as if the sun was trapped in them.

He turned back around. “You don’t look all too scary.”

“See! That nob wanted to kill me! Passive killing, like a coward!” He shrugged. “But what was I meant to do? He stopped the car and wouldn’t let it go. Drew a freaking knife on me, even!”

Now, that seemed unreasonable. By now Ryan thought it was all just a big story, probably a disagreement between his stranger and the driver, but that sounded pretty extreme.

“Wow, sounds like you had a really shitty day.”

“I did!” He sighed again before turning to Ryan. “Please don’t throw me out? At least not until we find civilization.”

“I’ll give it my best,” Ryan promised before throwing the other an amused look.

The stranger seemed confused before he gave a strangely squawk-like noise and sat up. “I am so sorry! Gavin, by the way! Gavin Free!”

“Ryan Haywood. Nice to meet you.”

“I assure you, Rye, normally I am more polite!”

Straight to a nickname, huh?

“In light of your recent happenings, I can overlook that for now.”

Gavin grinned before leaning back in the seat. “Really thought for a while I was done out there, but then you came. Like my guardian angel or something like that. Where are we even going?”

“No real destination,” Ryan admitted. “Just driving around to see the country. Do you need to go somewhere special?”

“Nah, suits me. I am also just looking around.”

“You’re from England, I suppose?” Ryan asked, thinking about the accent.

“Yeah! Came over the pond to see the big America and stuff!”

“All alone? That sounds dangerous.”

“I am old enough,” Gavin assured him as if he hadn’t been threatened with a knife on this very day. “And I can absolutely look after myself.”

“Sure you can,” Ryan hummed, chuckled when the other stuck out his tongue.

“Thanks for picking me up by the way.”

“Ah, there comes the politeness you promised me before.”   
“Hey, that’s the near death experience and the heat! My body has to adapt to these new surroundings first. It’s actually quite cold in here.”

Reaching for the dash, Ryan turned the AC down. “Better?”

“I think so. Thanks! Really though. You were probably right, Rye. I’d be dead out there. Eaten by birds.”

“Vultures.”

“Which are birds,” Gavin reminded him. “Wings and a beak and everything. All there to devour me!”

“Not much on you for them to devour.”

“I don’t think they’d be picky.” He shivered. “Would never thought I’d end as bird poop.”

“Well, hopefully you won’t now.”

“Only if you don’t throw me out.”

“So you better be nice to me.”

“I’ll be so nice to you, Rye.” He said it so teasingly, that Ryan couldn’t help but throw him a glance. He froze at what he saw.

Gavin was stretching in the seat, making his shirt ride up and revealing a stretch of smooth skin. Apparently, he was tan all over, quite a remarkable thing coming from England. It was a nice contrast to his purple shirt.

“See something you like?” Gavin asked and when Ryan’s eyes flicked up to his face, he found him smirking mischievously.

“Just good to know that you don’t have any weapons on you,” he said quickly as he looked back on the road, trying not to blush. But why be embarrassed? The other was an attractive man, even if he was a few years younger than him.

Gavin hummed as he let his arms drop again and Ryan was pretty sure he had done it on purpose.

“Weapons? I thought I didn’t look scary, Rye?” He chuckled before searching around to recline his seat a little. “I carry one of those pepper spray bottles with me for my defense but I wouldn’t use it. First off, I’d have to search for it which would take a while, and then we’d crash if I sprayed you. So no worries on that one. I do have a knife though.” His laughed a bit nervously. “Which was a stupid thing to say right now, I just realized. But it’s for the times I have to sleep outside and stuff. I don’t think it’s sharp enough to do any harm though. I tried myself on carving a piece of wood that one time and it was rubbish.”

Ryan raised his eyebrows. “Did you just admit that you carried weapons with you?”

“I told you it was stupid!” Gavin reminded him. “Also I have to gag when I see blood, it’s horrible!”

“You’d be the worst serial killer.”

“Hey! I bet there would be worse than me!”

“Whatever you say,” Ryan said. “You should have used them on that other driver though.”

“I guess.” Gavin sighed loudly. “But there was a knife in front of me, Ryan! A really real knife! What was I supposed to do? Tell that bloke to wait while I search through my backpack for that pepper spray?”

“Well-”

“And when I found it, I would have sprayed him in the face and then what? He’d be even more pissed - I was happy when he drove off.”

“Guess you’re right,” Ryan admitted and watched as the other deflated. With a sigh, Gavin let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling.

“What a rubbish day.”

Humming in agreement, Ryan left him alone with his thoughts and for the first time since picking Gavin up, it grew silent in the car. As expected it didn’t take long for the other to fall asleep and when Ryan looked over the next time, Gavin’s head rested against the window.

The sun seemed to belong to his skin, playing over the blond hair and making it glow from the inside. He looked good like that.

At peace and quiet and when Ryan stopped at a dusty gas station, he didn’t bother waking him.

Gavin woke up two hours later and stared at him owlishly. Ryan let him until the boy seemed to recognize him again and relaxed.

“Where are we?” he asked.

“Still on the same street.”

“It’s so strange,” Gavin mused. “You can just follow one street here and see nothing for hours. Like some post apocalyptic world. Did we even see any other cars yet?”

“One or two.”

“See? We wouldn’t even know if we were the only people left on this planet. Maybe something horrible happened and we just wouldn’t be aware of it.”

“I did stop at a gas station before. Seemed pretty alright then,” Ryan said and the other groaned, apparently not happy that he was destroying his little idea.

“It’s still strange,” Gavin insisted. “You wouldn’t be able to do this in England. You’d drive off the island at some point but you’d surely come by some villages first.”   
“Can’t tell you, I never was in Europe.”

“It’s top!” Gavin assured him before taking a glance at his watch. “How much longer are we driving? You must be getting tired.”

“I was planning on making a stop at the next motel,” Ryan told him. “What about you?”

“We’ll see.” He fell silent and Ryan followed suit.

His eyes were itching from watching the road so long, his neck stiff. The sun was just now starting to set but it was nearing 9pm. It was about time when he saw a sign telling him about a motel in the next ten miles.

Gavin didn’t seem to notice. He watched the countryside pass by, chin propped on his hand. Only when Ryan finally pulled into the parking lot did he look up and frown.

“We’re still in the middle of nowhere. I thought we would reach a city?”

“Next city is still quite a bit away,” Ryan told him while killing the engine. He got out of the car and stretched, letting his back pop with a sigh. “That’s why I was asking what you were planning on doing next.”

“Oh,” Gavin said slowly. He pulled his backpack against his chest and seemed a little unsure. “I expected a city or a village at least…”

“Like I said, that’s still a bit off. I can take you with me in the morning.”

“Really?” the boy asked hopefully. “I don’t want to bother you too much.”

“It’s fine. I have to drive that way anyway and time passes faster with company.” Ryan hesitated before saying, “Of course, if you don’t want t-”

“No, no!” Gavin interrupted him quickly. “You were literally the nicest person all day!”

“Not hard to do, everything considered.”

“Just take the compliment, okay?” He laughed nervously and it was kinda cute. “I’d like to join you again tomorrow.”

“Good,” Ryan said, and meant it. “Let’s get inside and call it a day.”

Gavin hesitated, pressing the backpack closer to his chest as if it was a stuffed animal. “Um… I don’t think I can afford that…”

Underneath Ryan’s surprised gaze, Gavin blushed. “I don’t really have a lot of money… would it be alright if I slept in the car?”

So that he could steal it? Ryan wasn’t stupid. “I’d rather you would not.”

Gavin flinched a little as if he had screamed at him and then looked a bit helplessly up to him. With a sigh, Ryan gave in. “Come on, get out of the car. We can share a room.”

He hadn’t expected the panicked looked on the other’s face before he realized what he had implied. “Not like that! God, Gavin!”

“What?” the younger spat back. “You think you’d be the first to try that?”

That made him shiver. “I’m being honest!”

“You all pretend you are,” Gavin said quietly before sighing. He finally reached for the door and got out. Throwing his backpack over his shoulder, he threw a resigned look to Ryan. “It’s not like I have a choice though, so… thank you very much, I guess.”

“Jesus…” Ryan mumbled. “It’s not like that.”

“Okay.” It didn’t sound like he believed him as he stood in the setting sun, shifting around.

Shaking his head, Ryan opened the trunk to get his own backpack out before locking the car. This might as well just be a trick to get his car and he would not be one of those idiots falling for it. Turning around, he began to walk towards the entrance and Gavin could follow him or not.

But it was just like he thought and soon enough there were steps behind him. Gavin was right, the alternative was camping outside or hoping someone else would pick him up. Out here, with the night coming, that wasn’t very likely.

Ryan lost no words about it as he went to the reception. It was a simple desk and behind was a young man, looking up with glassy eyes. He quickly turned back to the TV as he yawned.

“Welcome,” was all he said throughout the whole transaction and that was just how Ryan wanted it. He really didn’t want to be remembered by that guy.

With the key in his hand, he turned around but couldn’t see Gavin. He found him in the hallway that led to the rooms, arms wrapped around himself as he waited for him.

Apparently, he didn't want to been seen either, at least not with Ryan. Maybe he didn't want the guy at reception to make assumptions, but Ryan figured that guy had seen a lot of worse things and wouldn’t even care.

Opening their room for the night, it was just like he expected. Crowded and worn down. Two beds, a bedside table on each side, and an old TV on the other wall. A door leading towards the bathroom and nothing more.

Not that they needed anything more, they just were here to sleep.

He threw his backpack onto one of the beds before turning around. Gavin was still standing in the doorway, shoulders rigid and Ryan sighed.

“I won’t touch you, alright?” he said. “You take your bed and I take mine and tomorrow we head out.”

Gavin gave a sharp nod before closing the door behind him. He moved past Ryan, basically clinging to the strap of his backpack. “I mean…” he began, his voice small and a bit timid. “You were nice to me and you are paying for this room…” He couldn’t look at him, just stared at the bed while Ryan took his body in. Lean and tan and filled with sun.

“I don’t want to owe you.”

For a moment Ryan played with the idea. It was a weak, disgusting little thought that nagged at him and made him imagine how the evening could play out otherwise.

“No,” he said and now Gavin looked up surprised.

“They only had double rooms anyway,” Ryan said even though he wasn’t sure about that. “So it doesn’t make a difference if you sleep here or not.”

The green eyes were watching him and he was surprised how sharp they suddenly were. Gavin was observing him, searching for something before he turned away and nodded.

“Okay,” he mumbled before sitting down on the bed to untie his shoes. “Thanks again.”

“It’s nothing.” Ryan turned away to rummaging through his own backpack until he found his cigarettes. What a bad habit he couldn't break.

One in the morning, one in the evening and sometimes one around noon. At least he had this part of his life under control.

“Do you mind?” he asked and Gavin shook his head.

“You want one as well?”

“I don’t smoke,” Gavin told him before shouldering his backpack again. “But I’ll go take a shower first, if it’s alright with you?”

“Go ahead.”

He lit his cigarette as he watched the boy disappear in the bathroom. He took his backpack with him, probably to change clothes.

Pepper spray and a knife, he had said. For his defense mostly.

Ryan wondered if he had ever used it before.

Switching the TV on, he kicked his shoes off to lay on the bed. Dragging on his cigarette, he reached for the ashtray on the bedside table. He found some news and absentmindedly listened to the reporter, waiting for his own name to fall but it didn’t happen.

Instead he heard how the water was turned on and watched the door to the bathroom. Gavin hadn’t locked the door, either because there was no lock or because he hadn’t wanted to.

For a while Ryan entertained himself with the thought of following him inside as he smoked his second cigarette. That was alright, he hadn’t smoked one at noon.

The news ended and Gavin came into the room. His hair was still wet, dripping down his neck as he threw Ryan a questioning look. When he didn’t react, the boy let himself fall on the other bed.

A few minutes later Ryan stood and went into the bathroom himself. He also took his backpack with him and when he stepped out again, Gavin acted like he was asleep.

He had undressed himself, Ryan could see his bare shoulder peek out from beneath the covers before heading to bed himself.

A few hours of sleep, he didn’t need anything more.

When he woke up again it was dark outside and he could just hear some distant music from another room through the walls. There was a flashing red light in their room, probably from the neon sign outside that let him see at least a little.

Gavin had barely moved it seemed. He still had his back turned towards him but had kicked the blanket mostly down.

That was too be expected, it was hot and stuffy in the small room with the distant smell of smoke from his cigarette in the air. He should have opened the window afterwards. It itched in his own throat and Gavin didn’t even smoke.

Sitting up, Ryan felt around for his backpack as quiet as possible. Without waking the other he got up, took his bag and went into the bathroom.

Closing the door behind him, he switched the lamp on and had to squint against the cold, harsh light. After he got used to it, he opened his backpack and searched until he found the small pouch at the bottom. Pulling it out, he revealed the gun inside.

He took it in his hand and loaded it.

It was unlikely that he would need to actually shoot, he was pretty sure Gavin wouldn’t try anything stupid. He would cooperate quietly, would maybe ask him why but wouldn’t actually expect an answer.

Not that Ryan really had one.

The first time he had killed had been an accident. The second time was just to make sure he had it under control. He still was in control, of course he was.

Really, it was a show of control more than anything.

Putting the gun down, he got out the duct tape. It was strong, more than enough to hold Gavin.

If Ryan were honest, he felt a bit bad about this one. He had told Gavin he wouldn’t touch him because the boy had looked so nervous. He wouldn’t, at least not like that, but it was just too perfect to pass up.

A foreigner traveling alone, out here in the middle of nowhere. If he hurried up, it would be easy to get the body in the trunk and unload it somewhere in the desert. Nature would do the rest.

And he really didn’t want to take too long, he didn’t want to play with the poor guy. Really, it wasn’t anything personal.

Gavin had just been at the wrong place at the wrong time.

And as he had put it himself - just a shitty day.

Zipping his backpack shut, he took the duct tape and the gun and readied himself.

Quick and quiet.

Like the last time. The last time had been good, he could do it again.

He had this under control.

With a deep breath, he opened the door back to the room and froze.

Gavin wasn’t in his bed anymore, Gavin was standing right in front of him.

Ryan opened his mouth to say something but felt his words stuck, his arm not sure if he wanted to hide the gun or just pull through with it.

The green eyes were sharp, like he had noticed before and when Gavin moved, it was smooth and quick. One of his hands pinned the gun against the doorframe so hard that Ryan winced just as a rag was pressed against his mouth.

Horrible sweet scent felt his nose and he realized it was chloroform but before he could tell himself not to breath, Gavin kneed him in the groin and he gasped. Nearly instantly he felt the stench fog his brain and in the next second he blacked out.

He came back slowly. His head hurt and of all things he was thirsty. When he opened his eyes, everything was blurry but brighter than before. Had he been out until the morning?

No, after a few moments he realized it was a bedside lamp throwing a warm light in the room. The curtains by the window had been drawn and stopped the red flashing from disturbing them.

How long had he been out?

He couldn’t tell, he was still too out of it and it was hard to breath. With a sudden surge of panic he realized that there was a patch of tape over his mouth.

Fuck-

“You back?” someone asked and he slowly turned his head.

Gavin sat cross legged on the other bed, still only in his boxershorts. Ryan had been right, he was tan all over. Somehow that was the first thing coming to his mind.

Behind the tape he tried himself on an answer but it was more a groan. Gavin at least nodded and turned back around. It was then that Ryan saw his backpack on the bed as well, the contents thrown mindlessly on the floor.

“I guess you’re going by your second name, James,” Gavin said and Ryan looked back up to him. He had his passport in his hand, turning it playfully around. “Born in Georgia. You’re actually older than I had expected. Good for you.”

Ryan tried to move but found his hands bound on his back. Slowly the fog gave way to panic. Next to Gavin’s bare foot, he could see his gun.

“But there’s some other things you haven’t told me, Rye,” Gavin went on and threw the passport mindlessly to the ground. Instead he reached behind himself and Ryan’s heart stopped for a moment.

Even though he had been overpowered and restricted, the fact that Gavin had his mask in his hands was somehow way worse.

“They are searching for you. I saw it on TV,” he said carefully. “I am not sure if I remember correctly but I think they caught glimpses of someone wearing this mask in a camera? Well, that was after they found that chick dead in her apartment.” He seemed to lock gazes with the skeleton mask. “And the fingerprints were linked to another victim but I guess they didn’t find you in the database. Or that’s why you’re on the run?”

Gavin shrugged before letting the mask fall as well. He got to his feet and stepped over the mess on the floor. The gun remained on the floor, but out of nowhere he got out a switchblade knife.

It was eerie, the ease in which he twirled it around his finger before holding it still. The blade appeared with a metallic click that seemed deafening in the silence.

Ryan didn’t know what to feel or what to do. His chest was heaving and when Gavin noticed, he smirked.

This was not according to plan! He was not in control!

Gavin reached the bed and suddenly Ryan was reminded of seeing him for the first time. How clumsily he had let himself fall into the seat of his car. There was nothing left of that anymore.

Gavin swung a leg over him as he straddled him, the knife cutting shallow lines in the air. It was graceful, calculated - he was a predator who was sure of what he wanted.

Right now,  _ he _ was in control.

Gavin couldn't have weighed all that much, but it felt like the air was being pushed from his lungs. He had a hard time trying to breathe in the first place with the duct tape over his mouth and he was starting to truly panic now, eyes locked on the knife.

“It’s alright, love,” Gavin murmured. His free hand patted Ryan’s cheek mockingly as he leaned ahead.

“I want you to listen really closely, Rye. It will make things so much easier for both of us.” He was so close now, that Ryan felt his breath on his face. The hand with the knife was propped against his rapidly moving chest.

“I don’t want you to panic, so if you’re a good boy I will take the gag off. But if I do so, you gotta promise not to scream.” Gavin smiled one of his bright smiles for him, allowing the sun inside of him to peek through. “It would be very stupid to scream, though. First of all, I would silence you for good. One stab and byebye. The police would come and I would play the little victim.” He blinked coquettish until his eyes filled with a few tears. “Officer, oh God, he wanted to kill me! He had a gun and I just… I just reacted! Oh God, what have I done?”

The smile turned into a grin. Ugly and cutting like the knife. “So, I guess we understand each other?”

To be honest, Ryan had not understood more than a few words here and there. What he did know though, was that he needed to breath, that he was starting to hyperventilating and he nodded if only to get rid of the gag.

Gavin was humming as he reached for the duct tape and he made a big show of it. Playing with the edge, revealing in the joy of the obvious dominance he had right now. Then he pulled it off in one motion and it stung and burned but more importantly, Ryan could take a huge breath.

Letting his eyes fall shut, he gulped down the air around him and barely noticed Gavin talking to him. It took several minutes until he registered the hand carding through his sweaty hair, calming him down and he let his eyes flutter open again.

Gavin was still sitting on top of him, shushing him down quietly, but when he saw him watching him, he smirked again.

“Better now?” he asked as he leaned back. The knife was still in his hand. “I figured we could have a short chit chat like this.”

“Fuck you,” Ryan managed to bring out. Not his best threat but under the current circumstances he was pretty proud of it. “Let me go, you freak!”

“Hey, you started this game,” Gavin reminded him. “You were nice to me, I actually just wanted to rob you of a bit money and I’d be gone! You’d never have to see me again but no, you big scary bloke had to be bloody creepy! You’re the mentalist here!”

He wondered if he should tell him that you didn’t use the word like that but decided it would be counterproductive. Instead he figured another approach. “Okay, Gavin,” he said slowly. “I figure we have a situation here.”

“Wrong. I’d say  _ you _ have a situation here. I’m pretty save. You make a mistake and you’re dead, that’s how I see this.”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about! Let me go and I’ll g-” The knife pressed against his throat and he fell silent.

Gavin was looming over him, his free hand propped next to his head as he clicked his tongue. “Why don’t I know what I’m talking about? Because I was a poor lost boy, in the middle of nowhere? Innocent and helpless until you came along, right?” He laughed and somehow managed to make it sound degrading. “I did that because that’s what you fucking expected, idiot. That’s probably what got you going! God-” He sat back up, running a hand through his hair. “You are so high up on your horse that you just thought I would be an easy victim! But you know what, James Ryan Haywood from Georgia? I am not. I was playing with you the whole time and it took you until it was way too late to figure it out!”

Ryan glared up at him but it did nothing more than to make him laugh harder. So that little bitch had played him? And even worse he hadn’t even thought about it!

The itch had been there and Gavin had nearly seemed heaven sent.

Nobody would have missed him, nobody would have probably remembered him! The last guy had thrown him out in the desert - police would expect that he was lying dead somewhere!

Gavin was still chuckling but slowly got himself under control again. He was grinning cockily down at him, just a warm weight above him. “So, Rye, tell me. Was I meant to be number three? The third victim is kinda special, pretty sure after I would have been found, you’d be considered a serial killer. They would hunt you down even more then.”

“You wouldn’t have been found,” Ryan spat and Gavin nodded thoughtful.

“Probably not, yeah. It’s a good place for some fun, I guess. It would be so easy to get rid of you here and I’d be even in a better condition than you. Nobody saw me entering, nobody knows I am even here.”

And Ryan remembered how Gavin had been asleep during their stop at the gas station, how he hadn’t been next to him as he got the room here. He scowled, now more pissed than afraid. If the tape around his hands wasn’t so damn-

“Don’t move,” Gavin warned him quickly and Ryan stilled. “Just saying, you got a lot to learn, Ryan. Getting searched by police with two victims only? It took me five until police even figured out there was something going on.”

Ryan froze and again Gavin laughed. This time it was chirpy with a childish joy in his eyes. “What, big guy? Thought you were the only one or just surprised that you weren’t the best? I have to admit, it’s highly unlikely for two killers to meet each other but here we are.”

“Wait,” Ryan said carefully. “You’re also..?”

“Yeah! Why do you think I left England? Got a bit too hot for me there. It’s actually pretty funny, I never met another killer before.” He fell silent and Ryan also wasn’t sure what to say anymore. He wouldn’t necessarily say that it was funny but certainly… interesting in some twisted way. It was so unlikely to find each other on this way that he was nearly ready to say that it had to be some form of fate even though he did not believe in such things.

What he did know though, was that Gavin was in control here. Over time he would be able to get rid of his bindings, but not if the other was watching like a hawk. And even then, Gavin had the knife and the gun and certainly more chloroform.

“So what now?” Ryan asked carefully. “Will you kill me as well?”

He seemed to think about it, tilting his head to the side while watching him. His stare burned like fire as it wandered over him and Ryan wasn’t quite sure what the other saw or wanted to see. What kind of expression he should display to make sure that Gavin changed his mind.

It seemed unreasonable - letting him go would be outright dumb but he couldn’t help but hope. Thinking back to his victims, he wondered if they had hoped for something similar like this, but he had been quick. They had barely realized what was happening before he had strangled them.

He wasn’t cruel.

“You know….” Gavin finally mumbled but then fell silent again. He was frowning, biting his lips before sighing. “I have to admit, I had my fun, love.” He pushed the blade carefully back into the knife. “Even though I killed, I never really liked it. It’s too much work to assure that nobody will find out, to clean everything so that there will be no evidence. It’s bothersome. I like to watch people squirm and you gave me that.”

Wait, did he real-

“If I cut you lose, will you kill me then?”

Ryan stared at him, not believing what he was hearing. He couldn’t be for real, right? This was another trick, there was no other way. But Gavin waited for an answer and Ryan licked his lips. “I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” he said, and felt childish doing so. He still didn’t believe it but then Gavin was standing up. Ryan turned over when he asked him to do so and still expected to feel the knife against his head, against his throat again.

It didn’t happen, instead there were Gavin’s hands against his and then he was free.

“There you go,” Gavin mumbled before switching the knife back.

Slowly, Ryan sat up and rubbed his arms, trying to get rid of the pins and needles beneath his skin but he couldn’t avert his eyes from Gavin.

The sharpness was gone, the mask from before back and Gavin looked outright concern. “Oh no, did they fall asleep? That has to hurt!” A smirk as he kneeled back onto the mattress, leaning close enough that Ryan could smell him. The mint from his shampoo, the sweat from the temperature as Gavin’s lips brushed against his ear.

“Do you want me to make it better, love?”

Ryan’s head was spinning. He couldn’t quite figure the other out, couldn’t grasp one of his expressions before another was there and his next reflex was to grab his neck.

Gavin gasped surprised as he was thrown onto the bed and this time it was Ryan who loomed over him.

His hand wrapped around the other’s throat but he didn’t squeeze, not yet. His muscles still felt weak, wouldn’t be up for the strain after being stiff for so long.

Beneath him, Gavin blinked a few times before he was smiling. Ryan couldn’t tell if it was honest, he just watched as the younger put his head back, baring his throat to him and his fingers seemed pale against the tanned skin.

“You promised, Rye,” Gavin reminded him while closing his eyes.

For a moment Ryan didn’t care. They were just words with no meaning and they both knew it, but then it did bother him. Frowning, he concentrated on the pulse beneath his fingers, the warmth emitting from Gavin.

The sun was trapped inside of him, Ryan was almost positive, and it fascinated him. He relaxed his hand and could hear Gavin chuckle quietly.

“Come on, big boy,” he said. “Let’s get some more sleep before moving on. What do you say?”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, and there we go~  
> Next chapter goes online in a week as usually!


	2. Of Sinners and Saints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, Ryan…” Gavin sighed. “It nearly sounds like you want to get rid of me already.”
> 
> “That’s precisely what I want to do.”
> 
> “I don’t think we will do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you guys enjoy the story so much!

Chapter 2

_ Of Sinners and Saints _

 

“Come on, love,” Gavin whined. “You’re being boring!”

Ryan threw him a short glance before turning back to the road. The night had been short and he hadn't been able to sleep again. How could he, knowing that there was a killer laying in the bed next to him? Somehow Gavin had started snoring twenty minutes after letting him go, and in the morning the boy had acted like nothing had happened at all. Running his damn mouth off while getting dressed, and more than once Ryan had thought of just driving off and leaving him there.

Problem was, Gavin knew his full name and where he came from and what he had done. Second problem was, he didn’t dare to kill him even now. He stood in the room, watching him, thought about how easy it would be to break his neck. Not his usual style, too fast for his taste, but he was ready to make an exception. And even if not, he was stronger than Gavin and would easily be able to wrestle him down.

Still, his body didn’t move, and all he got out of this was a flirty remark.

“Rye, come on,” Gavin called again and with a huff. Ryan glared at him.

The spacey, shy stranger from yesterday was gone and had left behind a pampered child. Right now Gavin had his seat reclined, feet propped up on the dashboard as he sighed. “You can’t ignore me, it’s boring!”

“Take your feet down,” Ryan told him. “It’s very rude.”

“You tried to kill me, that was very rude!”

“Gavin.”

“Fine!” Rolling his eyes, he sat up straighter. “I’m hungry. Can we stop by the next diner? Your treat of course.”

“I already paid for the room!”

“The room you wanted to kill me in!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t!”

“Only because I stopped you!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ryan snapped at him and then cursed under his breath. That brat was just riling him up and even now he could see him smirk in the corner of his eyes.

“You want to know what my psychologist or my mom said to that matter?” Gavin asked sweetly before leaning closer. “Come on, love! We had so much fun yesterday!”

“Oh, yes. It was such a blast,” Ryan mocked him before nodding to his wrist. They were red and raw from his tries to escape. “How am I meant to explain that?”

“Bondage,” Gavin told him good naturally, and Ryan nearly swirled off the road.

“What?”

“You know, when the two of us walk into a diner, I hardly believe that anyone will ask,” Gavin said. “And if they do, I’ll just tell them we had a really interesting night. I didn’t take you for a sub but he-”

“Oh my God, shut your mouth.” He shoved him away in disbelief and Gavin squawked like a bird.

“At least I am trying to find a solution here, Ryan! With all the duct tape and the choking of other people, it’s probably your thing. And you know what? That’s alright! I am not here to ju-”

“Please, just stop talking.” He rubbed his temple, couldn’t believe he was in this situation. “If you don’t stop talking I will have to kill you.”

“But you promised, Rye!” Gavin protested. “Also it would be rude to kill someone on an empty stomach.”

“God, alright! We will stop by the next diner if that gets you to shut up!”

“I mean, you can hope but I wouldn’t count on it.” Gavin threw him a shit-eating grin as he leaned back in his seat, but he kept his feet on the ground this time.

Clenching his teeth, Ryan tried to ignore him but it was hard to do. Even when Gavin wasn’t talking, he seemed to have some kind of aura. An annoying one, he decided. It made him take glances as if to make sure the other was still there and hadn’t vanished like a ghost.

He wouldn’t even be too surprised, this whole thing still felt pretty surreal.

Maybe he had finally snapped.

That had been a thought he had often. The first time he killed. The second time.

Strangely, yesterday it hadn’t really crossed his mind.

“Up there!” Gavin called suddenly and Ryan looked up. Sure enough, a rundown, dusty diner appeared on the horizon. He doubted that it was even open anymore.

“Looks like salmonella,” he mumbled and Gavin laughed.

“Looks like food, so I’ll take the risk. Come on, I’ll even pay.”

“I thought you had no money?”

“I have some now.”

“Is it mine?”

“Maybe.” He smirked and Ryan let it drop. He needed coffee and he needed it badly.

To his surprise the diner really was open, and Gavin was quick to grasp his arm tightly as they stepped out of the car.

“In case someone asks about your wrists,” he explained and Ryan thought back to coffee. Coffee could only make this so much better.

It was a dark, dingy thing with a jukebox playing in the background. The checkerboard floor was rundown and Ryan watched the pattern while Gavin ordered for them. The boy was a warm weight against his side, the sun burning inside of him and here in the early heat, Ryan had to stop himself from pushing him away.

They sat in a booth, a coffee each as they waited for their food. Ryan watched over the lonely street out the window. It wasn’t that much further anymore.

“We should reach the next village in around two hours. I can take you there or leave you here,” Ryan said slowly as he nodded towards two truckers and a couple who were also sitting in the diner. “I am sure you can talk your way into their cars.”

“No, thank you.”

“So, the village? I’m not sure if you’ll have more luck there.”

“Oh, Ryan…” Gavin sighed. “It nearly sounds like you want to get rid of me already.”

“That’s precisely what I want to do.”

“I don’t think we will do that.”

“Why?” Ryan asked. “What do you get from messing with me?”

“Maybe I fell in love with you.” Gavin smiled, blindingly so, and Ryan shook his head.

“Something is wrong with you.”

“You shouldn’t be the one to talk,” Gavin reminded him. “But yeah, I think I will hang around some more. It’s fun.”

“It’s not.”

“Maybe not for you, but there's really not a lot you can do against it. How about you just start to focus on what we can gain through this?”

“Oh, and what would that be?” Ryan scoffed but didn’t get an answer. Gavin had sat up straight and was looking over Ryan’s shoulder with a soft smile. Turning around, he saw the man from before approach and place their food in front of them.

“Thank you so much! We were starving!” Gavin chirped happily before tipping the man graciously. Well, considering that it was Ryan’s money, it was probably easier for him to do. Swift fingers, the brat.

He watched the man leave without so much as a word and when he turned around, Gavin had already started on his pancakes.

Pulling his bacon and eggs closer himself, he had to admit he also felt hungry. It really had been a long night.

“What I was going to say,” Gavin began, mouth still full, but Ryan figured it would only cost him his own breath in pointing it out. “You like the killykill and the stabbystab, right?”

“Not necessarily how I would put it,” Ryan grumbled. “Do we really want to speak about this here?”

“Just making sure that’s what’s doing it for you,” Gavin just went on, either not having heard his last sentence or choosing to ignore it. “So as I said yesterday, I personally am not interested in all that crap. Too much work, you get me?”

“Totally,” Ryan remarked with a sneer. Again, Gavin didn’t react.

“But I like the preparing. Searching and getting in contact with the victim, getting them to a save location. Most of all the playing around, watching them squirm. Getting on their good side. I once had a guy who actually felt sorry for me! Told them I had such a bad childhood, boohoo! Worked like a charm.” He stuffed a ridiculous large piece of pancake into his mouth. His next words came out muffled and Ryan couldn’t understand them but that was alright. He was thinking about what Gavin had said and couldn’t help but shiver a little. The way he talked about it, as if it were the most natural thing in the world…

Gavin began to cough and quickly drank from his cup of coffee. Ryan watched how his throat flexed and knew how easy it would be.

“Bloody hell,” Gavin mumbled as he put the cup down. “Need to slow down on that one, nearly done me in. Anyway, what I was going to say; my problem is simply that I have to kill them, you know? I can’t just let them go when I am done.”

“Are you… torturing them?” Ryan asked carefully and wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know the answer. Fine, he did kill as well and he wasn’t a good person because of it but he didn’t go that far. No, of course not!

“God no! I just… talk with them,” Gavin assured him quickly. “I don’t touch them and only hurt them if I have to. It’s just fun to get into their head.”

“Okay,” Ryan said and couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. He finally began to dig in as well.

“My next problem is that I am not really strong,” Gavin went on. “I can’t just hold someone down or keep them for a long time. Like yesterday? At one point you would have gotten rid of the restrains and that would have been the end of me. I am forced to have a constant eye on whoever I have, which means no sleep and stuff like that.”   
“And no sleep means you’ll get exhausted quicker,” Ryan mumbled before shaking his head. The eggs tasted somehow stale but the bacon was good. “So what are you offering me here, Gavin?”

“It should be obvious, right? As partners we could help each other. I play honeypot and you do your thing when I’m done,” Gavin said nonchalantly. “We steal their money and get out. Easy as that.”

“And after that?”

“What do you mean?”

“After we get our share. What’s your plan then?”

“After we get our share? What, you wanna marry and have three kids?” Gavin chuckled. “Ryan, there is no after that. We both crossed the line, if you want to admit it or not. We’re… misfits or whatever. You can’t be naive enough to just expect us to… stop at some point.”

“Maybe you can’t but I have a future,” Ryan explained. “I’ll just have to restart and before that I have to… have to let some steam off, okay? That’s what this is all about.”   
“Sure,” Gavin snorted in disbelief. “How will that work out? They may not have your face but your fingerprints. You’re done for.”

“Bullshit.”

“Listen, Ryan.” Gavin leaned over his plate but Ryan quickly turned his head away, didn’t want to look him in the eyes. The guy was younger, how could he pretend to know more about this than him?

Even after this all… his life was under control. Maybe this hadn’t been part of his plan, but it was alright.  _He_ was alright.

“I had to leave my country because I made a mistake. Just one, okay?” Gavin said slowly. “Before that, they didn’t so much as suspect me. They didn’t even connect the victims they had found but just like that, I was done for. I packed my stuff and was out of there as fast as I could because otherwise they would have locked me away. Prison or an asylum, whatever. Not having that anyway. There is no future for us anymore, it’s too late for that.” Leaning back, he shrugged and the smile was back. As if he hadn’t just doomed both of them with his words. “All we can really do is enjoy the moment. Carpe Diem or whatever.”

 

* * *

 

It was late afternoon when Ryan decided that they should settle down in another hotel. He was tired and irritated from the day and the short night before and it had to show. Gavin offered to get them both food without another word and now Ryan sat in their room, switching through the channels on the TV without really seeing anything.

He should call his mom but felt too agitated to do so. He would later shoot her a message, assuring that everything was alright and nothing had really changed. Another day in the office.

Thinking back, Ryan was nearly ready to admit that his new life was more exciting. He surely hadn’t met someone like Gavin in the office.

Sun boy.

He wondered how old the other was. He’d guess around twenty but wasn’t too sure. How could someone be so messed up at such a young age?

Maybe he wasn’t any better himself, just a bit older.

It didn’t really matter, he was tired and hungry and didn’t want to think about it anymore.

He looked up when the door opened and found Gavin strolling in with the takeout boxes like it wasn’t a big deal. He placed them on the bed next to Ryan before digging into his pocket and handing him the change.

Ryan had been pretty certain that Gavin had paid for this one here and if he did take Ryan's money, he hadn’t noticed, but he took the money with a nod anyway.

“Did you poison the food?” he asked and Gavin just shrugged before letting himself fall onto the bed beside him.

“Not yet, but if you close your eyes for a minute or two, we can arrange that.”

“You actually got poison?”

“Nah, that was a joke.” Opening the lid, he blew over his pasta. “I’m almost out of chloroform thanks to you.”

“Thanks to me? I didn’t ask you to knock me out.”

“Yeah but you’re a big bloke so I used a lot. Didn’t want to take any risks!” He turned to Ryan and grinned. “But I don’t need that anymore, right, partner?”

“It would surely make things easier.”

“It’s America. It’s not like we can’t get that stuff in the next city,” Gavin reminded him. “Now eat. It gets cold.”

He was probably right. Deep in thought, Ryan let the remote go in favor of getting his food but his mind traveled back to his parents. He usually called every few days, it would be strange if he didn’t, but he couldn’t do it with Gavin here. He really didn’t want this guy to know about his parents.

God knows what he would do, he wouldn’t go so far as to describe the other as stable.

Next to him Gavin chuckled, nearly giving him a heart attack. Could the boy read minds as well as pickpocket? But when he looked up, he was just watching the TV. He had found The Simpsons and seemed greatly amused by it, so much so that he hadn’t even noticed that he had lost his spaghetti halfway to his mouth and was now holding an empty fork.

Ryan smirked to himself and turned back to his food, just to find that his fries had been greatly reduced without his doing. At least getting some food into his system helped with his mood and he picked his plate mostly clean before shoving it towards Gavin. The younger stole his fries without a word of thanks while Ryan lit his cigarette as he leaned against the headboard.

They watched The Simpsons in silence and when Gavin was done eating, he actually cleaned everything up before throwing himself onto the bed.

Two beds were shoved together to build a double bed and Ryan wanted to push them apart but right now he felt too drowsy, ready to drift off.

He woke with a start when something wet slapped against his chest. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he found Gavin standing in front of his bed with his arms crossed.

“What?” Ryan mumbled and stared down at the towel now lying in his lap.

“There’s a bar down the street. I’ll go there,” Gavin told him while running a hand through his still wet hair. He had changed his clothes and was wearing a nice button down shirt with skin tight jeans. Ryan wondered how he could even move in those.

“So you woke me?”

“Well yeah. Didn’t want to be rude now, did I?” He turned towards the mirror by the door and began to style his hair. “Also I wanted to ask if you want to join me.”

“I am not really a party guy.”

“Figured.”

Rubbing his face, Ryan turned around to throw a glance out of the window and was surprised to find a dark sky. After a quick look at his watch, he saw that he had slept nearly four hours.

“It’s a good place to find possible victims,” Gavin said casually. “Just saying.”

“What? You want to go out hunting now?” That was… kinda surprising if he were honest. By now Gavin had maybe seemed eager, but not desperate.

“Not for me.” When he turned around, his hair was fluffed into something that might have been a bird’s nest. Somehow he was able to pull it off. “I was thinking about you. It must itch, right? You didn’t get your share the last time and you wouldn’t have taken the risk attacking me, if it wasn’t about time. You need it no matter how much you want to deny it.”

It was kinda true. The itch, as Gavin put it, wasn’t that bad yet but it would grow with time. Just like last time, when he still thought it was just one murder, just one mistake, just one slip of control.

He knew fully well that it was one of the characteristics for a serial killer. A cooldown phase between murders, and Gavin seemed to know that as well.

The boy was sitting down on the edge of the bed now, waiting for his answer before shrugging, “Your choice. I can lure them in, no problem, and we are out here in the middle of nowhere. It’s a good opportunity.”

“I think I’ll pass.”

“Okay. I’ll still go and get a drink.”

“Don’t use my money again!”

“Oh, Ryan.” He chuckled while he stood again. “Do I look like I have to pay for drinks?” He blew him a kiss as he reached the door. “Don’t wait for me, love!”

Arrogant little bitch.

Ryan rolled his eyes as the other left and with some yawning he got out of bed as well. If he went back to sleep now, he wouldn’t be able to sleep later tonight. So instead he went to take a shower to wake up some more and when he stepped back into the main room, he stared at the turned off TV. Under normal circumstances he would watch some mindless show until it was time for him to go to bed, but it seemed even duller than usually.

Searching for his phone, he debated again if he should call his mom but just sent a message saying he was working hard and didn’t have time to call. Maybe in a day or two.

He wondered if by that time Gavin would still be with him.

Again the thought that he could drive away right now resurfaced, but he didn’t act on it.

So for another long moment he just stood there and watched the black screen of the TV before turning around and following after Gavin.

The bar was small and smelled like dry wood and stale alcohol. He hated the smell of normal alcohol but it seemed inevitable in life.

It was surprisingly quiet inside, the music just a background noise along with a few murmured conversations. A handful of lonely souls sat at the bar, and Ryan figured that would also be his place when he heard loud laughter.

There was one table that brimmed with life in here and of course he found Gavin in the middle of it. It looked like he sat on two chairs that had been pushed together, squeezed in there between two guys even though there were more than enough empty chairs around.  He seemed to fit right in with the group and Ryan wondered how the fuck he had managed that in such a short time.

Their eyes met over the heads of strangers and for a moment Gavin seemed surprised before the smirk crept back onto his face. Turning away, Ryan sat down at the bar and ordered a coke. He got a funny look but didn’t really care. Rather, he asked himself what he was really doing here.

It was probably better than sitting in the hotel room by himself, but still it was a bit sad. He could pretend that he just wanted to keep an eye on Gavin or maybe see him in action, but that wasn’t quite the truth.

At least he was pretty sure it wasn’t.

Gavin’s table laughed occasionally but it dimmed into a strange murmur over time and sure enough Gavin appeared next to him.

“Is that seat taken?” he asked smugly before sitting down without waiting for an answer. The murmur picked up and he turned back to the table he had been sitting with prior and gave a thumbs up.

“What are you doing?”

“Told them I would try to go home with you tonight. They bet against it. I’ll show them.”

“That’s hardly fair.”

“But they don’t know that, do they?” Smirking, he placed his glass down. It smelled like something strong. “So what are you doing here, Rye? Did you change your mind?”

“Not quite.”

“Good, because it’s not as ideal as I thought it would be. Not enough people in here. If we leave with someone they will notice and the rumors will start right away. It seems like everyone knows each other here. How irritating.” He nursed his glass with a dark look before sighing. “Also the one I considered has a cat.”

Ryan frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, if he doesn’t come home who will feed the kitty? It will be lonely! Also it’s called Patches! Patches, Ryan! That’s so adorable!”

“That’s kinda sick.”

“Why? I assume it got its name because it actually has patches.”

“Not what I meant.” Rather he was more worried over that cat instead of some family the guy wouldn’t come home to. Gavin didn’t seem to share his thoughts and threw him a confused look before brushing it off.

“So why are you here? Were you worried about me?” He winked at him while downing his glass and ordering again. All in one smooth movement that showed he did this often. He didn’t even pull a face at the taste.

“Don’t drink too much, we still have to drive tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but you will be the one driving.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you would take over once in awhile.”

“I bet you would. I don’t even have a licence, didn’t I tell you?”

“Still, I would prefer if you weren’t hungover tomorrow.”

Gavin threw him an unimpressed look and when he got his new drink, he downed it in one go. This time he shook himself, so he had done it just out of spite. But even with teary eyes he managed to smirk like a right asshole.

“So, having a cat saves him?”

“Basically,” Gavin admitted. “I have standards, Ryan.”

“Sure you do.”

Gavin actually gave him a dirty look and promptly ordered another drink. He was acting like a little child.

“I am sure you also have some lines you wouldn’t cross,” he mumbled as his glass was refilled. “I think considering everything you are still a good person.”

Ryan couldn’t help but raise his brows. He looked towards Gavin who thoughtfully played with his glass.

“I don’t think a lot of people would say that.”

Gavin hummed as an answer before propping his chin on his fist. He waited until the waiter left before adding, “It’s a sickness rather.”

“That’s not a reason.”

“I didn’t say it was,” he took a sip from his drink. “I think most people like us are… sick? Or were made to be like that, I’m not sure. It’s not a reason but I think there is a fine line between being sick and being evil.”

“There are enough evil people in this world.”

“I guess… yeah, you’re probably right. There are evil people out there but still, I don’t think you are one of them. Doing the things we do… I think it is forged by sins, from a hunger and some just never really had a chance.” He shrugged again. “But maybe I’d just like to believe it. Truth is, it’s a nice feeling of power, isn’t it? A rush. That guy with Patches the cat will never know what might have happened, but I do, and sometimes that feeling is more than enough for me.”

“Maybe you are just looking at the people you spared instead of the others,” Ryan told him and Gavin blinked, surprised.

Leaning back, he stared into his drink before huffing. “I guess I do. Well, I didn’t say that I was the good one, did I? I just know what I know.”

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a lighter. It was gold, something that didn’t seem to fit in this lonely bar or into the hand of someone who couldn’t even pay for a hotel room. Still, Gavin played with it like he had done that for a long time already. A used motion, just like ordering that drink before.

“I thought you didn’t smoke?”

“I don’t,” he agreed. “I just wanted to have it. It’s pretty.”

“A bit too much if you ask me.”

“I like gold.” The grin came back slowly and he leaned closer to Ryan. He smelled like alcohol and now that Ryan thought about it, he was starting to slur his words a little.

He actually wanted to scoot away but Gavin stopped him with a touch and turned his back to the table that was probably still watching him.

“See?” he asked and pulled out a golden bracelet. “One of the birds from the table was wearing it. It was also pretty. She said it was a gift from her fiance and still she didn’t even notice yet. Guess it’s not that important to her.”

He let it disappear with quick fingers, up his sleeve somehow and leaned his head against Ryan’s shoulder. “I will appreciate it. It can get me something to eat for quite a while, a roof over my head for a night or two. But maybe I will just keep it. Like I said, it’s very pretty.”

“If you asked her about it, she will know it was you when she notices,” Ryan said and tried to ignore the looks he was getting from the table, the hushed whisper with the occasional childish giggle. They had no clue.

“She won’t notice soon enough though. So now it’s mine.” He straightened up again and also turned towards the table. He must have given them a sign of some kind because they broke into fits of laughter. When Gavin turned around his face was blank.

“What if she would notice right now?”

“I’d talk myself out of it, don’t worry.” He emptied his glass and ordered a new one in that same fluent motion again. “Still, we should head home soon.”

“The hotel,” Ryan corrected him.

“‘S’the same, isn’t it? Has a bed and a roof.” His glass was refilled once again but before he could reach it, Ryan pulled it towards himself.

“I think you had enough.”

“And I think that you’re not my dad. So give it back before I start to scream and tell them you did something horrible to me,” Gavin said, wrenching the glass out of his hand. Ryan let him, tired of fighting against him, at least for today. “Also I already ordered it and you shouldn’t waste things.”

“Whatever. Just don’t come to me complaining about a headache tomorrow.”

“I most likely will. Just a heads up. So drink your manly coke and let’s get back.”

Rolling his eyes, Ryan did so and when he turned around, he found Gavin gone. He was stumbling towards the table, quickly reaching towards a chair to steady himself as he was laughed with the guys there.

Ryan watched as they handed him money and he remembered the bet again. Against his will he snorted at the overconfident grin when Gavin returned. He threw the bills onto the bar and still kept a bit as he finished his drink with two quick swigs.

“Told you I wouldn’t have to pay,” he said. “And I even paid for you. See it as a thanks for the breakfast this morning.”

Chuckling, Ryan slid from his chair and followed Gavin outside.

The night air was cold after the stuffy atmosphere of the bar and Gavin took huge breaths to try and sober up. It didn’t seem to help all too much because his steps were still wobbly as they headed towards the hotel.

“Had a little much,” he mumbled nearly to himself before turning to Ryan. “You should have really stopped me somehow.”

“Oh shut up!” Giving Gavin a shove, he didn’t expect the other to stumble over the curb and hit the ground. Gavin seemed just as surprised and Ryan was quick to stop in his path. “Oh shit, are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?”

“No… no, I’m fine.” For the first time that night or maybe since meeting him, Gavin looked somewhat out of his depth and took Ryan’s offered hand without a word. Pulling him to his feet, Ryan quickly made sure he was telling the truth.

“I’m really sorry, Gavin!” Dusting the younger off, it took him a moment to notice how close they were now, and Gavin used his hesitation to press his chest against his.

“So strong, love,” he whispered, his arms snaking around Ryan’s waist and still he staggered. Without wanting to, Ryan put his hands on his hips to steady him.

“Stop that,” he told him but it came out weak. He couldn’t deny that Gavin was warm against him, more noticeable out here in the cold night. It felt nice, and now the other was smiling up at him.

Gavin tipped his head back and for a second Ryan panicked, not knowing what he should do - to pull him in or push him away, but Gavin didn’t move to kiss him. He offered his throat like before, letting his eyes flutter shut. Ryan couldn’t help but stare.

The tan expanse of skin, the pulse he could see on one side, calling to him. Before he knew it, he had his hand wrapped around it.

It was wrong.

Like the day before it felt like Gavin’s throat fitted right into his hand but this time he couldn’t really see the contrast between their skin. Not in the dark out here. He wouldn't be able to observe like he wanted to, and what a shame that would be.

Maybe at sundown, when the golden light would paint the boy in its colors. When he could watch the sun break out from beneath his skin.

Not in the dark.

“You know how this will end?” Ryan asked quietly, moving a little closer, wanting to feel the heartbeat not only beneath his fingers. “One of us will kill the other.”

Gavin chuckled, and he found himself missing the vibration of it when the younger pulled his hand from his throat to kiss his palm.

“That’s what I’m counting on, love.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Playlist for this story:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWQbs1V1HCsh2BeqJrPQ0AJGvoqOH24Ft


	3. Empty Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was driving Ryan up the wall. The urge, the itch, had grown stronger. He didn’t want to admit that Gavin had been right, but it was getting harder to deal with it.
> 
> Harder to keep control.
> 
> He guessed it was true; his cooldown phase had run out and he wanted, needed, to hurt someone. No. More. He needed so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the tags, my children.  
> We are getting into the shit, so be sure to be comfortable with the content!

Chapter 3

Empty Lovers

 

They were in a suite this time, a definite upgrade from the shitty motel rooms they had been staying in before. Although, Ryan doubted that they would actually sleep here. No, most certainly not.

He stood in the doorway of the bedroom, eyes scanning the living room.

It was mostly quiet now, the soft music Gavin had put on masking any other sound in the room, not that there was a lot. Not anymore. 

The grunts and fighting had died down and now the woman just sat there, sniffing occasionally.

Gavin had caught her like a moth, had lead her astray as if he were a will o’wisp. How easily he had pried information out of her; making sure she was traveling alone, that she wouldn’t be missed until a couple days later.

Also that she apparently had no pets.

Now they were in the suite she had rented for the week and Ryan was acting as lookout, making sure she wouldn’t try anything stupid. He wasn’t even sure if she realized he was here. Right now she had her eyes closed, but before she had only stared at Gavin.

Gavin who was lounging on the couch, playing on her phone as if there was no rush at all, as if he belonged right there. Shoes kicked off and humming along to the song.

It was a stark contrast to the woman who was tightly bound to a chair, a gag in her mouth to keep her quiet.

Ryan wasn’t quite sure what would happen next. Gavin had told him he just liked to talk, wouldn’t hurt them if it wasn’t necessary, and so far he had stayed true to his word. He had barely touched her, just kinda sat in front of her, looking through her purse.

It was driving Ryan up the wall. The urge, the itch, had grown stronger. He didn’t want to admit that Gavin had been right, but it was getting harder to deal with it.

Harder to keep control.

He guessed it was true; his cooldown phase had run out and he wanted,  _ needed _ _,_ to hurt someone. No. _ More. _ He needed so much more.

Wrapping his hand around Gavin’s throat didn’t help anymore, not without squeezing, not while the sun still shone through his eyes.

One day he would watch it set in the green depths while everything was painted in beautiful warm hues, but not yet.

Now it was enough to watch some light leave someone’s eyes. It didn’t have to be the sun, he would save that for a special time.

But by now Gavin had done most of the work and this was his payoff, and even though Ryan didn’t understand why he did what he did - that wasn’t for him to decide. He would get his own reward at some point.

What were a few more hours until then? It would maybe force him to chew his nails, or maybe he would resort to pacing restlessly, but he would do it. And then finally,  _ finally _ _,_ Gavin decided to move.

“You had quite a lot of missed messages and calls on your phone,” he began quietly as he sat up. “But strangely just from Maggie. She’s your daughter, I guess?”

The woman had no way to answer but Gavin didn’t seem to wait for it.

“Mommy, when are you coming home? You said you would only stay for a night,” he read from the screen. “She wrote that a couple days ago but you didn’t answer her. Instead you wrote to one of your friends. ‘Just needed a timeout for once! I deserve it once in awhile to get out.’ and you know what? I wouldn’t even mind it. I’m sure kids take your toll, you deserve a break!”

Ryan listened to the even voice but he couldn’t help but notice the trembling hands clinging to the phone, the plastered-on smile on Gavin’s face, and he realized that Gavin was angry. Really, really angry.

It was a strange sight. They had barely known each other for more than a week, but he hadn’t seen him outright pissed off yet.

What a fascinating thing to witness, like a pretty picture with a red streak crossing right through it. A pretty picture someone had slashed.

“‘Please come home, Mommy,’” he continued, eyes locked on the screen. “‘Why won’t you answer? Please answer, I am scared!’ ‘Will you not come back?’ ‘Are you fed up with me?’ ‘Why did you send  _him_ over to look after me?’” Gavin’s face hardened at that, and Ryan could feel the first fires of rage in his stomach. “‘You know I don’t like him! How could you send him over, I would rather stay here alone! I told you, he is scary when I am alone with him! I told you I didn’t like him! Why did you send him over?!’” Gavin let the phone fall and let himself sink into the couch cushion. Staring up at the ceiling, he took deep breaths, and for a while Ryan just watched as his chest rose and fell. The woman had started to cry again.

“I always believed,” Gavin finally went on as he let his eyes slip shut. “That no matter what, a parent should always protect their children. No matter what. That’s their purpose, isn’t it?”

The phone slipped from his hands and as he stood, the purse fell to the floor. Lipstick and mascara rolled over the floor until they stopped at the coffee table.

Ryan remained silent as Gavin took her apart afterwards. He was pretty sure Gavin wouldn’t want a reminder that he was here, not now, not as he ripped that woman open and wounded her so mortally.

He didn’t even have to touch her. Sometimes words were enough.

Ryan watched without saying a thing or moving, didn’t want to disturb him in his own little masterpiece. Briefly he wondered how Gavin  knew so much about the woman, but he figured that phones had enough information inside to learn about a person. The other things? Maybe just some clever deduction, maybe he read it in the body language of the woman, maybe he just guessed.

Whatever it was, it worked, and Ryan leaned against the doorframe as he let the calm words wash over him, just barely disturbed by the muffled - protest? Pleading? - of the woman.

It didn’t take all that long, and when Gavin fell silent he was a bit out of breath. He blinked a few times as if he had just woken up before his eyes darted to Ryan. The first time in an hour, if not more.

Then he turned back towards the woman. She had her head lowered, hair falling in her face as she cried and cried. He left her there as he stepped towards Ryan.

His fingers were warm as they brushed up Ryan’s arm, a strangely tender gesture by him before he leaned his head against Ryan’s shoulder.

He let him catch his breath there, allowed his fingers to wander up and down even if it brought forth goosebumps. In the grand scheme of things that didn’t matter.

For a moment he wanted to ask how Gavin was feeling, but didn’t quite dare. He felt like he wasn’t prepared for the answer yet.

Turning his head, Gavin stifled his chuckle against Ryan’s arm before looking up to him. His eyes were sparkling, the sun catching in the green, and he seemed completely weightless.

“I’m done now,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to Ryan’s shoulder. “She’s yours.”

He disappeared into the bedroom like a shadow and Ryan watched him as he fell to the bed, stretching his arms over his head like a cat waking up.

It was hard to say who of the two was more merciful, or if there was any mercy involved at all. Ryan wondered about that as he stepped closer to the woman. Gavin’s play hadn’t hurt her, not at all. Her wrists were red from struggling but besides that she was still perfectly fine. He had left other kinds of wounds that throbbed and stung beneath, but not for too much longer. 

On the other hand Ryan’s part didn’t take as long. It was a matter of minutes and the fact that the woman wasn’t sorry did help. He couldn’t find it on her face or in her eyes. She was scared, sorry that she got caught, but nothing besides that.

The light in her eyes wasn’t very bright, and as he watched it fade he had to look very close so as not to miss it.

He stood in front of her afterwards for a couple of minutes, letting that strange rush fill him. That feeling of power and control after doing something so wrong and forbidden.

Maybe it was childish of him. It most likely was.

Right now he didn’t care.

When he could finally look up from her, he flexed his fingers slowly to get the stiffness out before moving towards the bedroom. Gavin was still sitting on the bed, but now he played with his lighter. The gold was a nice color on him as he let it snap shut over and over again. It nearly sounded like the missing heartbeat in the suite.

It at least reminded him of something and Ryan returned to the woman. The necklace was just as golden, he had noticed as it had dug into his palm, and now he carefully wrapped it around his wrist.

When he entered the bedroom this time, Gavin had the lighter open and held the flame towards the pillow. It started to turn black on the corner, smoldering slowly as they both watched the thin column of smoke rising.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked, but if Gavin heard him or was even surprised that he was in the room, he didn’t show it. He just observed the flame eating away at the cotton. In a few more seconds it would really catch fire.

“Don’t do that. I’m sure there’s a smoke detector somewhere. We don’t want that thing to go off.”

Gavin didn’t move at first, but then he sighed. Snapping the lighter shut, he smothered the fire with the second pillow. When he made sure it wouldn't start again, he looked up to Ryan, the smile creeping back onto his face. “You done?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yes,” he admitted. Gavin was watching him, eyes so bright that he feared it would burn him up just like the flame barely a minute before. He seemed to look right through him, and somehow he started to like that feeling. Was he getting used to it?

He didn’t know, he just kept his eyes locked with the sun and realized they had just killed together. Had sinned, had taken another life.

It made his heart flutter strangely.

Gavin didn’t blink even once before his grin fell. “I want you to come closer,” he said, and Ryan listened. He stopped in front of the bed, close enough to feel the warmth of Gavin’s legs against his own.

Gavin leaned back onto his elbows to keep watching him. It was a slow, languorous movement that made his button up stretch over his chest.

Also a very nice look on him, Ryan decided.

“Did you get it for me?” Gavin asked with a soft nod towards his wrist. Looking down, Ryan remembered the necklace and unlaced it slowly. He had already forgotten about it, too enraptured in the fluid motions of the other.

“Yes.”

“Put it on me.”

His hands began to shake by the thought alone. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.” He wasn’t sure if he could without burning up. He wasn’t sure if he could without losing control.

“I want you to,” Gavin demanded quietly, and Ryan listened again.

He wrapped it around Gavin’s neck and imagined pulling it taut. Just another golden noose.

But it would snap, he could feel that it wasn’t the best quality. Still, it was a nice picture to imagine.

He could also wrap his hands around his throat again. It seemed like it was meant just for that and he couldn’t wait for the day it would happen, but this time Gavin wasn’t baring it. He had his chin up but only to watch him closely, taking in each of his movements.

So instead he clicked the necklace shut and pulled back. Not too much, just enough to let his hands rest besides Gavin’s waist. He hadn’t even noticed that he was braced over the other but now he couldn’t escape anymore.

“Does it suit me?”

Ryan nodded and couldn’t help but watch the pretty noose around the tan skin.  _ His _ noose, the one he had stolen and put there.

Only when Gavin moved did he look up. He was leaning closer but not close enough. Just so that Ryan could feel more of his heat.

Of course Gavin wouldn’t close the last of the distance, left it up to him and Ryan was too weak to resist.

Gavin kissed like he did every other thing. He teased, granting him the tiniest of tastes before pulling back, making him chase after his warmth. He was chuckling as well, Ryan was close enough to hear and feel it. Reaching up, he took a hold on his chin to keep him where he wanted him and kissed him again.

Instantly Gavin bit into his lower lip and pulled. His eyes twinkled mischievously as Ryan flinched and let him free again.

Laughing, Gavin fell onto his back, arms stretched over his head as he grinned up towards him. Ryan was above him a heartbeat later, burying him under his weight as he crushed their lips together.

The other was still squirming, still playing and he tried to pin him down, to stop him from moving so much, to make him  _ his. _

One hand brushed against Gavin’s throat before grasping his hair, the other arm wrapping around his waist to pull them flush together and just like that Gavin gave up.

The green eyes fell closed as he opened up for him, allowing him to taste and explore. To touch and pull and scratch.

He was arching into each touch as if he was cold, wasn’t burning up beneath Ryan as his fingertips brushed under the shirt, feeling the bare skin he had denied himself before.

When they broke apart, Ryan let his head sink and tried to catch his breath. He was panting wetly against Gavin’s shoulder while listening as the other started to laugh again.

“Shut up,” Ryan mumbled and pressed another kiss against the hollow of his throat. “We should get out of here.”

He sat up, still straddling Gavin’s hips, and even though he had just said it himself he made no move to get going. For a while he just took in the sight.

Gavin’s shirt ridden up, his hair mussed and his red lips slightly parted. The golden chain around his throat.

“You’re looking good up there,” Gavin whispered before Ryan could say a thing. He let his hands wander beneath Ryan’s shirt and allowed them to travel. Ryan let him, could feel the searing touch, the heat right beneath the fingertips.

“We should get going,” he repeated. Gavin rolled his hips against his and chuckled when Ryan shivered.

“Will you fuck me in the hotel?” Gavin asked bluntly, and it was as if the heat was leaking from his hands into Ryan’s chest as he tried to pull his shirt off.

How Ryan managed to bat his hands away, he didn’t know. He most certainly didn’t have enough breath to answer, not when Gavin was sitting up now. He let his hands travel, his nails scratching down Ryan’s back as he pressed their chests together.

All to whispered into his ear.

“I want you to.”

 

* * *

Ryan woke up to the sound of rain. When he opened his eyes, the hotel room was filled with gray light that fitted the noise. It was a bit strange; yesterday had been a beautiful day, and now things had changed so quickly.

Gavin had his back turned towards him but was still close enough to share his heat. That was good, because it had grown cold over night. He used one of Ryan’s arm as a pillow, the other was thrown lazily over his hips, and for a while Ryan just closed his eyes again.

It could be a play of light but it still seemed to be very early. He was a light sleeper, so the sound of rain had probably woken him. It didn’t quite drown out Gavin’s soft breaths, telling him that the younger was still asleep.

Last night he had been eager and pliant beneath him, a welcome change to the usual stubbornness. Miles of warm, soft skin all for him and in remembrance of it, Ryan let his hand travel again. Up the slim waist and down the planes of his shoulders.

He found a couple of scratches and bruises and couldn’t quite remember how they got there, but it had to be from his hands.

Gavin didn’t even seem to notice as he traced them.

After he refreshed his memories, he turned onto his back to reach his phone on the bedside table. It was nearly dead; there had been no time yesterday to charge it, and if he was honest, he didn’t care. At least he had been right, it was just after seven in the morning. Letting the phone drop back onto the table, he threw his arm over his eyes to block out the gray light.

His other arm was still trapped by Gavin and when he moved his fingers, pins and needles shot through his skin. Grimacing, he gave up on that one and listened to the rain hitting against the window.

It lulled him back into a small nap but even when he opened his eyes again, the light was still the same. What a dull day it would be.

At least Gavin had shifted a little and freed his arm. Sitting up, he massaged his muscles while looking around.

His eyes caught a golden reflection coming from Gavin’s jeans on the floor. It was the lighter. Ryan bent down to pull it out. It was a nice little thing and now that he looked at it more closely, he could see the professional craftsmanship. It wasn’t fake or cheap how he had thought, but rather heavy.

Turning it in his hand, he found an engraving on the backside.  _ Odilia _ , was written there in big, fancy letters.

Maybe Gavin’s mother?

He had never heard the name before, couldn't place where it came from.

“That’s mine,” Gavin mumbled next to him, and when Ryan turned towards him he barely had his eyes open.

“I didn’t want to take it from you. Just wanted to have a look,” he explained and Gavin nodded slowly.

He turned towards him, the necklace rolling over his shoulder, and Ryan was aware that he was being closely watched.

“It’s important to you?”

“Yes.”

“Who’s Odilia?”

“I didn’t know her,” Gavin said. “I guess the woman who owned it before me.”

“How did you get it?”

“I wanted it, so I took it,” he offered as an explanation. “It made me mad to look at.”

Ryan handed it to him but Gavin just shook his head, so he placed it on the bedside table. “How so?”

“I was a good student but I didn’t really get a job after school. As you can guess, I was kinda… known for a few things. Arson, a bit of trickery here and there, nothing much.” He propped his head up on his arm. The movement let the blanket slip from his shoulders but even in the cold room he didn’t seem to notice. “Bad seed, my mom called me. Black sheep, my dad. They didn’t help me after some shit happened, so I had to get by on my own. I was actually pretty talented with cameras, did you know?”

Ryan shook his head and Gavin started to laugh. “Really! Some people said I was a natural! So I made some money with that. Not a lot but enough for a roof and a bed.”

“Enough for home,” Ryan said, and Gavin nodded.

“Right. Enough for home and sometimes enough for a drink or two at a bar. Until one day this woman walked in. All fancy dress and obviously not in the right part of town. I never asked what she did there, nor did I care but she had that lighter.” He pointed towards it on the bedside table. “And it made me mad to see it because to buy something like that I would have to work for six month if not more, and it was just so useless! It did nothing a normal lighter didn’t do, what a waste of money! She didn’t even need it! While I watched her she didn’t even light a cigarette! I don’t think she even smoked, she just wanted to show off and I hated her for it!”

“So you stole it.”

“No. I killed her and took it,” Gavin said. He smirked and sat up, all without breaking their eye contact. “The first time is always something special. I think it forms us the most. I said that killing is a sin, that shouldn’t be a surprise but I meant it quite literally. Every kill, at least every important one, happens because of one of the seven deadly sins. It happens because we are weak beings but who cares. For me it was greed. Pure, disgusting greed.” He straddled Ryan and Ryan's hand flew up to grasp his waist and feel the heat beneath. His fingertips fitted right onto the marks left from the night before.

“I wanted it,” Gavin said. “So I took it. I was greedy, so I sinned. It’s pretty easy when you think about it.”

Ryan hummed and let his eyes wander. Gavin looked good like that, the cold light making him look a bit more human, just like the bruises and scrapes. He let his fingers brush against them, pressed and picked until Gavin squirmed on top of him.

“Did I hurt you last night?” he finally asked, more out of interest than concern.

“You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to.”

“Okay.” His hands settled back around his hips but Gavin didn’t seem to notice.

“What was it for you, Ryan?” he asked. “What was your sin? What cracked you? I want to know.”

He thought about that for a while, going through the seven deadly sins silently. Gavin was waiting patiently, his eyes sharp while they watched each other and finally Ryan said, “Envy, I guess.”

“Who was it?”

Again Ryan decided against answering right away. He let his hand wander up Gavin’s body until he found the golden necklace and pulled it taut. He could see how it cut into the back of the other’s throat but Gavin barely blinked.

It wouldn’t harm him much, most likely the necklace would break, so Ryan let it go.

“I was working for a big software company and one of the higher ups fucked up. So they needed a scapegoat to cover the story.”   
“Which was you?”   
Ryan nodded. “I was new, was just starting to work my way up, so they settled on me. They destroyed everything I had worked for.”

Gavin nodded thoughtfully and Ryan went on, “A few weeks later I met one of my old classmates and he was just… just living my dream. Even though he had never worked as hard, was never as good as me.”

“So you killed him?”

“I got angry.”

“I see. I have to admit that I am a bit surprised that they didn’t suspect you.”

Ryan huffed, “Me too. I was pretty sure I was done for but nobody ever came.”

“You should have taken that guy's job!”

“That would have probably pushed my luck.”

“I guess. Who was next?”

“A woman I met on the road.”

“Did you strangle both of them?”

“I did.”

Finally Gavin averted his eyes, his fingers moving to draw pattern onto Ryan’s chest. “Why strangling? It takes a lot of strength and time. If I would try it, I am sure they would get free in no time.”

“I like to watch,” Ryan told him. “To see how the light leaves their eyes. Some are very bright but most are just dim specks.”

“Is that so?”

“Don’t you see it?”

Gavin shook his head. “There’s nothing in people’s eyes.”

“There’s the sun inside yours.”

Gavin raised his eyebrows at him before he chuckled. “Sounds bloody romantic but it’s not, right? It means that you want to watch it fade. It makes you want to kill me more.”

“I can barely wait,” Ryan admitted and it was true. God, so true. “But it’s not the right time.”

Gavin nodded as if that was a reasonable answer. “Does your family know?”

“No!” he said too fast and Gavin’s mouth twitched. “My parents have nothing to do with this!”

“Well, if that wasn’t a sore spot,” Gavin chuckled.

“They don’t even know I lost my job!”

“You think that’s a reasonable thing? Keeping them in the dark with something so important?” Gavin asked.

“They don’t have to worry about anything.”

“You’re a coward,” Gavin told him matter of factly. “Maybe in denial. You still think you can just go back after all of this.”

Ryan’s arm shot up, his hand wrapping around the other’s throat but it did nothing to wipe Gavin’s smirk away. Instead the younger leaned against it, searching for the touch.

Not the right time, that’s what he had said himself, right? That’s what he had admitted to Gavin.

Slowly he relaxed his grip and Gavin took his wrist and pressed a soft kiss over his pulse.

“My parents can never know,” Ryan said quietly. “They are good people. Leave them out of this.”

“If that’s what you wish, love.”

“What about yours then?” he asked instead. Hoping to hurt where he had been hurt.

“My parents know. Everyone knows,” Gavin told him. “Hard not to when the bloody police are searching for you.”

“Did you want them to know?”

“Of course not. It would have been easier if they didn’t start asking questions. But it’s not like they were surprised about that, I think they kinda saw it coming.” He hesitated for a moment, before grimacing slightly. “Well, I guess they hoped it wouldn’t be that bad but no, they weren’t surprised. After I was caught laying a few cheeky fires, they gladly threw me in some kind of facility. Did nothing besides make me lose the last friends I still had.” He shrugged but Ryan could see that he was tense now. The hairs on his arms were standing on edge and now he seemed to notice the cold. Ryan couldn’t deny he wasn’t cold himself, but at least Gavin was a warm point of contact on top of him.

“Turns out your mom doesn’t allow you to play with the neighborkid when he’s convicted of arson. Turns out it doesn’t help your mental health being ignored by everyone you ever knew.”

“How old were you?”

“I think I was sixteen. Not the most stable year in the best case.” He chuckled before pulling the blanket around him. “But that’s in the past. It doesn’t matter anymore. I am here now.”

“You are,” Ryan agreed and tugged at him. Gavin followed and laid down on top of him, pressing a short kiss to his shoulder.

Even though he had appeared to be cold, he was just as warm as always. Ryan was quick to snake his arms around his lean form, pressing their bodies together.

“How does it feel, Ryan?” Gavin asked playfully. “That was your third kill. You’re officially a serial killer now. Welcome in the big leagues.”

That much was true. Even though he hadn’t thought about it yesterday, he couldn’t deny that Gavin was right.

When they would find the woman, they would be able to tie the other murders together. He and Gavin hadn’t really been all too carefully, but he wasn’t known by the police. They didn’t have his fingerprints or DNA and he highly doubted that they had Gavin's.

All they would know was basically that there was a new serial killer. If at all, he had killed in a different state this time.

It was too late to think about it now. What’s done is done. They couldn’t exactly go back and change something.

It was hard to think about going back when Gavin was worrying the skin right beneath his jaw. Apparently he didn’t give a damn about the answer even though he had asked the question. Rather, he bit down harder until he broke his skin and Ryan flinched.

“Hey!”

“Don’t be a baby, you’re a big boy now,” Gavin told him before pressing their lips together. Ryan could taste the barest hint of copper as he licked into the other’s mouth.

“Let’s stay here today. Let’s stay in bed,” Gavin mumbled as he pulled back to catch his breath. Outside the rain still fell, the gray light painting his hair nearly white. Ryan reached up to pull harshly at it.

Gavin winced but arched his neck like he wanted him to.

“That would be stupid,” Ryan reminded him as he watched the golden necklace hang between their bodies.

“They won’t find her today. They won’t find her that quickly,” Gavin said and rolled his hips. “Come on, Ryan. I feel good, I always feel so good afterwards. Make me feel even better.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I write anything involving romance, I am so bad at it, oh GOSH


	4. Stockholm Syndrom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to try something different,” Gavin said.

Chapter 4

_ Stockholm Syndrome _

 

“I want to try something different,” Gavin said. They sat in the car, parked in front of a fast food place, stuffing their face with hamburgers.

“Not in the car,” Ryan told him promptly and watched how the other rolled his eyes.

“Not what I was talking about.” He crumpled the wrapper before reaching for the next burger. “Like, businesswise.”

“Business?” Ryan asked. “You’re talking about murder?”

“Stealthily, love. But yes, that’s precisely what I’m talking about. I think you can call it a business. The last bloke had quite a bit of money on him.” As if to prove it, he held up his arm and showed off the golden watch around his wrist. It was too big but he didn’t seem to care. “After all, it’s our income!”

“You mean when we’re not living from my savings?”

“Oh come on! As if you had bought yourself something better from it!”

“I was thinking about getting a new PC actually.”

“Well, too late now,” Gavin told him before biting into his burger. After he swallowed, he continued, “So, you gonna hear me out or continue to bitch?”

“Go ahead then.”

“I was thinking about keeping someone.”

Ryan raised his eyebrows and when he glanced at Gavin, the other actually seemed a bit nervous, playing with his new watch. “Excuse me?”

“Well, I never dared to do this when I was working alone, but now we could keep someone over a longer amount of time.”

Ryan reached for his coke. “That’s quite a drastic change, don’t you think?”

“Nothing would change too much for you, but I would be able to play longer. To… I don’t know.” Gavin shrugged. “It would be more fun for me. Just saying.”

“If you want to roleplay you can just say so,” Ryan chuckled.

Gavin threw the wrapper towards him and managed to miss in the closed space. “Ryan!”

“Sorry, kidding.” He drank from his soft drink and tried to think about it. This would most certainly be a step… forward, backward? He wasn’t even sure. They would need to be extra careful, need to prepare each other even more. A higher risk but maybe… maybe also a higher payoff.

Gavin was watching him, worrying his bottom lip all the while. Ryan wondered what he wanted to do, which play he would use. It was something they had to consider while preparing but most importantly it meant that Gavin was getting fed up with their usual method. If he was bored by it, he would feel the itch sooner. Maybe they would go out of sync, maybe Gavin would take higher risks.

Maybe his next victim would be Ryan himself.

“We have to plan this very carefully,” he finally said, and Gavin quickly nodded. “We need to scout out areas, need to find something at least remotely abandoned and of course a fitting person.”

“I understand.”

“But if we do it right, I don’t see why we can’t pull it off.”

“Really?” Gavin asked eagerly, and when Ryan nodded, he beamed up at him. It seemed even brighter than usual, his eyes sparkling as he leaned across the seats to hug him.

“Thank you so much, Rye! I’ll make it up to you later!”

“You better,” he said as he ran his fingers through the familiar hair. “But it might take a while, okay? We can’t rush it.”

“I know!”

“And first of all we get out of this state and lay down low for a few days.”

Gavin chuckled before looking up to him, a smug smile on his face. “It’s not my creepy mug that’s on the cover of the papers.”

“To be fair it’s just my mask, and I didn’t know there were cameras. You should be glad they didn’t get you.”

“Big scary Vagabond,” Gavin cooed before pressing a kiss to his collarbone. “Let’s eat up and get moving then.”

 

* * *

 

Ryan expected it to be a tedious work but he hadn’t quite imagined how much. The biggest problem was the location. They had to make absolutely sure that nobody would stumble upon them, a remote place somewhere.

It didn’t help that Ryan didn’t dare to stay more than a few days in one place. Since they had made the headlines there had been apparent sightings of him all over the country. Seemed like he wore his mask everywhere to get recognized.

Even though it was mostly bullshit, he still kept an eye on it. Not so much in fear of getting caught, but the fear of his parents finding out. He didn’t want them to, he didn’t want them to ask him why he did what he did.

It was easier to talk about this stuff with Gavin, of course it was.

For his parents everything was still alright, he still called him whenever Gavin wasn’t around, and that was how it was supposed to be.

But Gavin was also getting impatient. This time it was  _ his _ itch that forced them to move, and it showed in other ways as well.

How he would play with fire, igniting trash or starting bar fights. Not that he actually participated in them, he counted on Ryan to get him out, and of course he did. He was the one walking home with a black eye while a drunk Gavin was giggling at his side.

They were growing out of sync. Ryan was still satisfied with their last victim, felt no need to rush, but Gavin was growing reckless. And a reckless Gavin was dangerous.

When they did find a place, it was as perfect as it could get.

It was Gavin who noticed it as they were driving out of a small village they had stayed in for the night.

“Looks like it was a ranch once,” Ryan said as he threw glances towards the buildings to their right.

“It looks totally moldy and old! I bet it falls apart when we step inside!” Why he sounded excited over that Ryan didn’t know, but he drove towards the rusty gate when it showed up.

There was a sign there, warning them not to step inside because of the danger of a collapse. Next to it was an old mailbox but he couldn’t read the name on it anymore.

Opening the gate, they drove inside to check it out.

It wasn’t a big place. The main house, a stable, and something that might have been a storage building.

A strange dust laid over everything that was disturbed by Gavin running around.

It somehow reminded Ryan of home.

“I bet this place is bloody haunted!” Gavin called. “I bet the father snapped and murdered his family and threw the bodies into the well and now they haunt this place and when you wake up in the night, you can see their wet footprints everywhere!”

“What the fuck, Gavin?” 

“It’s true, you will see!” He ran up the porch and started to tear on the door there.

Ryan followed slowly and for a second he allowed himself to dream. What this place would look like in its prime, what kind of work they would need to get it back together.

He wonder what it would be like to settle here with Gavin, just going on with their lives.

No more killing, no more running.

A bed and a roof. Home. That’s how Gavin had described it.

When he reached the porch, Gavin was still trying to open the door and he came up behind him. Wrapping his arm around his middle, he pulled Gavin against him to drop a kiss on top of his head.

The boy grinned up to him but thanks to completely different reasons.

It was a stupid thing to dream about anyway, he didn’t even know where it had come from.

“I grew up on a farm,” he said as if it was a defense. Gavin struggled to get out of his embrace.

“Doesn’t help us if we can’t get inside!”

Reaching out, Ryan tore at the door and it swung open with barely any resistance.

“You really are weak.”

“I’m the brains,” Gavin told him before darting inside.

“Then make sure nothing falls on your head, smart boy!”

 

The place was indeed perfect. They found no signs of anyone living there or even some teenagers breaking in for parties. It was probably too far off, just faded graffiti on the backside of the barn showing them that they weren’t the only people left on earth.

“Good place to start a zombie apocalypse,” Ryan told Gavin while cleaning out the kitchen. “We wouldn’t even be noticed.”

“I like it here,” Ryan admitted. “It’s quiet.”

“It’s boring,” Gavin corrected him, not noticing Ryan’s stare while he swept the floor.

 

“People don’t go there because they really think it’s haunted,” Gavin told him as they drove back from the village.

“How did you find that out?”

“Talked to the clerk while you were getting supplies.”

“Don’t you think that’s risky? We don’t want people to remember us.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Gavin said, waving dismissively with his hand. “It will all work out fine, you’ll see.” He turned towards Ryan, smirking. “Let’s go out tonight! Let’s go out as soon as possible! I can’t wait to hunt, Ryan. I can’t wait any longer - I am so excited!”

 

The woman Gavin chose was barely older than himself. He had decided on her so quickly that Ryan wanted to call this whole thing off. He was worried Gavin was going at it too carelessly, that he was just too excited for his own good, but trying to stop him would end in a fight. A fight he would most likely lose.

So he told himself to trust Gavin’s judgement once again.

He helped him to make her disappear from the bar, helped him drive her hunched over form back to the ranch, and finally he carried her into the barn.

Gavin had decided to keep her in one of the horse stalls and Ryan silently agreed. It was roomy enough and protected from the weather.

“She will be cold,” Ryan said after they secured her. “You should give her a blanket of some sort.”

“Not yet,” Gavin told him. He was still standing in the horse stall and was watching her. He looked beautiful in the moonlight falling in from the window. There was dust dancing around him and for a second Ryan didn’t dare to touch him.

Right then and there he seemed out of this world, something very lost and out of synch.

A distorted image of what could have been.

Then Gavin looked up and broke the spell. “It’s not time yet.”

“Okay,” Ryan simply agreed and held his hand out. Gavin took it and entwined their fingers as he was tugged out.

They carefully closed the barn door, but it should be impossible for her to get out of her restraints to begin with.

When Gavin crawled into his bed later that night, he didn’t sleep for a minute. He wasn’t quite sure why, if it was anticipation or just waiting for the sound of the girl fleeing. Maybe it was his own conscience returning.

It didn’t really matter when the familiar warm body fitted against his.

“I heard wet footsteps down the hall,” Gavin whispered as he placed his head on Ryan’s shoulder.

“Bullshit. You made that story up on the spot.”

“Yeah and now I’m scared of it.”

Ryan turned to watch him but the moonlight didn’t hit his face this time. It spilled over his shoulder in cold waves that he retraced with his fingers.

“How long are you going to play?” he asked and when Gavin huffed, he could feel it against his skin.

“As long as I have fun or until your itch starts. Let’s see what comes first.”

“It won’t work,” Ryan told him. “Your plan to make her trust you. It won’t work, she saw you tonight. She knows you helped kidnap her.”

“It will work. Just watch me.”

“I will. I want to be there when you talk to her. I want to make sure she doesn’t try anything funny.”

“You don’t think I could take care of things on my own, then?”

“No, not at all.”

Gavin chuckled and Ryan closed his eyes at the sound. Turning onto his side, he let his forehead rest against his.

“Just stay hidden,” Gavin said quietly. “You are the bad one here. Don’t ruin it for me.”

“I won’t.”

 

Gavin was humming the next day as he watched Ryan prepare breakfast. Normally he would stay in bed or run off in fear of helping but this time he was sitting on the kitchen table, humming a pop song.

“What if she is allergic to sandwiches?” Ryan asked and saw in the corner of his eye how Gavin shrugged.

“She won’t trust us enough to eat it anyway. She isn’t yet hungry enough.” And then, like an afterthought. “Also nobody is allergic to sandwiches.”

“I think you’d be surprised.” He handed Gavin his sandwich before beginning his own. “Why am I even bothering making her food if she won’t eat it anyway?”

“Because we have to look like we’re trying, Ryan!” Gavin protested. “Or at least _I _ have to look like I’m trying! You are the horrible one. Maybe you want her to starve but I smuggle food in? The details are still a bit blurry.”

“Yeah, because  _ I’m  _ the horrible one,” Ryan mumbled to himself but behind him Gavin still huffed in amusement. He watched the boy eat like he had no care in the world and found himself asking, “What do you see in her?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why her? When you took a look at her, why did you decide she was the right one?”

Gavin bit into his sandwich and chewed thoughtfully. Ryan let him, wondering if he would even answer but it wasn’t like Gavin was shy in anything, really.

“I saw my next game,” Gavin finally settled on. “I saw her and figured I could break her.”

“Doesn’t sound like she’s human to you,” Ryan remarked and green eyes found his. They seemed confused and he couldn’t help but ask, “What?”

“Are they to you? Human, I mean,” Gavin asked.

“Yes,” Ryan said without any hesitation. “I think that’s the light I am seeing. That’s part of the thrill.”

“Oh.” Gavin let his sandwich sink before taking a look outside the window. He was watching the barn, a concentrated look on his face. “Interesting.”

“You really don’t see it?”

“I told you before. There is nothing in people’s eyes.”

“What about my eyes? Is there also nothing?”

For a long moment Gavin was quiet. He was still staring outside, his head propped on his fist. When he finally answered, it was slow, a little unsure. “Your eyes are blue.”

“They are.” Should he be hurt that the other had to think about that? Because he was. He could picture Gavin’s eyes perfectly.

“But yes, there’s something. They get darker.” Gavin let his gaze travel back to him. “That’s what I noticed back when we met. There was something dark there. It was different. That’s why I didn’t kill you even though I could have.” He hesitated this time. It was always a strange thing to see, it didn’t seem to fit him. “You said you saw the sun in my eyes?”

Ryan nodded and watched how the other frowned.

“That’s so strange,” Gavin mumbled. “I can’t see anything.”

Ah, that’s the difference, Ryan realized. The thing they would always have to face, the thing that would make or break them.

It was probably the later.

He himself watched the life leave, watched the light fade, witnessed how a human became a thing. Just a shell of some kind, bare of any worth.

Gavin searched for it. Searched for the change in someone’s eyes, to break them down until he could see something human, even if it was darkness. Because darkness seemed to be the only thing he recognized.

“I wonder if that makes you or me a monster,” Gavin said slowly.

“It’s just a different breed,” Ryan said and watched as the boy nodded.

“Yeah, I think you’re right on that one.”

They both fell silent and after a moment Ryan turned around to prepare the third sandwich. When he was done, Gavin took it with him and Ryan watched him head towards the barn. For a moment he worried. Hadn’t he said himself that he would go with him, that he wouldn’t leave him alone, no taking risks? And still he didn’t move, just kept an eye on the barn.

Right now it didn’t feel right, right now he didn’t feel like being together with Gavin.

Not after being shown their differences so clearly.

_ “Your eyes are blue.” _

Taking his own sandwich, he sat down on the table but didn’t touch it.

That’s just how Gavin found him and even though he surely wondered over it, he didn’t comment on it. He went towards the sink to wash his fingers and his arm free of any ham and crumbs. Looked like she had thrown that sandwich right back at him.

He didn’t seem to mind all too much.

The next time Ryan did follow along. It was the evening of the same day and Gavin was skipping towards the barn. He held a blanket pressed against his chest while Ryan held a bowl of soup.

“She will spill it all over your lap and you will burn your junk,” he told Gavin who stuck his tongue out.

“She will not.”

“I bet she will.”

“Nah, she’s hungry now.”

“You of all people should know how stubborn a person can be.”

“I’ll take this as a compliment.”

“As if I could stop you.”

They lowered their voices as they reached the barn door and still Gavin pressed a finger towards his lips to signal him to be quiet. Ryan nodded before handing the bowl over to him and pulling the gate open.

Inside it smelled like old hay and missing animals. He liked the scent, it had something peaceful in it even though it was disturbed by a sharp intake of breath.

Gavin squeezed past him and moved inside. Ryan stayed right where he was and watched him. From her place in the horse stalls he was impossible to see.

Gavin threw a look over his shoulder to make sure before he opened the small gate in front of the stall.

“Hey Jessy, it’s me again.”

“Let me go,” came the answer right back. An edge of fear, of fake anger and panic that was a little worrying.

“I fear I can’t decide that.” And then with a small pause. “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you.”

Gavin laughed and Ryan watched as he crouched down. “That’s fair enough but before that I brought you some things. He made soup this evening and it’s still hot, so please… please don’t spill it all over me, okay?”

There was a clink as he put the bowl down. “I put it here, you decide if you take it or not.”

“Do you think I am stupid? You drugged it, you maniacs!”

“It’s not, I promise. I ate the same sou-”

“Fuck you!”

“Okay. Just… just tonight will be cold so it should keep you warm at least a little.” Gavin leaned back so that Ryan could see him a bit better. He looked worried, stared right past him and even though he was briefly concerned, he realized the other was just playing. Fake checking if anyone was coming.

In the end he turned back towards the girl. “I also brought you a blanket for the night. Please don’t tell him I did that, okay? He can get terribly angry. So if he comes in, could you please hide it? But he usually doe-”

“Just let me go!” Now it was a sob, just like expected and Gavin slowly stood.

“I am very sorry, Jessy. I can’t. We can’t run away from here.” He stepped back and carefully closed the gate, making her cry harder.

“Good night. I’ll check on you in the morning.”

She didn’t answer but neither had expected that. Gavin turned away and the moment he was out of her sight, his drawn, scared expression and was immediately replaced with a smug grin.

He walked outside and Ryan closed the barn door. Gavin was actually careful enough not to laugh until they reached the farmhouse but then he was jumping up and down, spinning in circles and finally threw his arms around Ryan’s middle.

“It’s working, Rye! It really is working!”

“She didn’t spill soup all over you, that much is true.”

“And she will use the blanket, I can already tell!” Leaning ahead, he pressed his face into Ryan’s chest and breathed in deeply. “It will be great. You’ll see.”

 

The next morning Gavin stayed longer in the barn. Just a few minutes but again Ryan had decided not to join him.

When he returned he was smirking like a child with a secret and an empty plate.

“She ate the sandwich this time,” he said proudly. “At first she didn’t want to, said we had poisoned it but when I started to eat it, she snatched it out of my hand and devoured it.” His hands wandered over Ryan’s chest up to his shoulders before stretching to give him a quick kiss.

“Even better,” he whispered against his lips. “When I went in she was hiding the blanket behind her back.”

This time even Ryan had to chuckle. He wrapped his arms around him to pull him closer. “Glad it’s working.”

“Also thanks to you, love.” His smirk returned, the sun strong enough to scald. “You’ve been so good, acting like you are the bad guy and letting me do as I want to. I should repay you.”

 

It was gradually getting better over the next days and he barely joined Gavin anymore. It was getting old standing by the door while they talked. He had worked the story out with Gavin, how he was a victim himself, taken by Ryan a few months before.

The girl was eating it up, asked him how to escape. She was smart. She came up with clever little plans that they hadn’t even thought about, and as discreetly as possible they fixed those.

Gavin was doing his job with ease. Planing along enthusiastically while also stopping her from actually pulling through. Telling her to wait for when the time was right, when they were alone and Ryan went off to buy food.

By now it was working but it was obvious that it wouldn’t work forever.

“We can’t keep her that much longer,” Ryan said as Gavin walked in. He had been with her again and as Ryan took a glance towards his watch, it had been well over an hour. Still, he didn’t say a thing, knew it wouldn’t work. Gavin wanted to do this and so he would.

If the girl would understand that he was playing her, they would have to put her down quicker.

“It’s still fine,” Gavin assured him quickly.

He dropped on the couch, immediately coughing at the amount of dust coming forth.

Chuckling, Ryan handed him a glass of water. “I’m just worried that you’ll get attached to her.”

“What, you think I’ll replace her with you? Getting jealous, Rye?”

“No,” he said while rolling his eyes. It wasn’t true. Not at all. “The last time I listened you talked about parents and families. I’m just saying that it’s pretty deep stuff and if you start to sympathise with her, you might not be able to… pull through.”

“You’ll get your kill, don’t worry about that, and I most certainly won’t become her friend.” He finished his glass before standing up and stretching. “I got it under control but it won’t be that much longer.” He fell silent as he thought about it and Ryan let him.

It wasn’t like he wanted to leave the farm, he liked it here. While Gavin had been occupied those past days, he had worked on the house himself. Small fixes that made living here so much easier and even though there was so much work left that it seemed overwhelming, he knew that with time he could make it work.

A few animals, some fields maybe. It could be a great place to live, but those were stupid thoughts.

It couldn’t be a home, never. They couldn’t stay here, they were on the run and Gavin would never agree to settle here.

“A few more days,” Gavin finally said. “I should be done by then, she is starting to get on my nerves a little.”

“Okay.” Taking the glass, Ryan brought it back into the kitchen and probably shouldn’t be surprised when Gavin stood behind him as he turned around.

“You can actually help me with that a little,” he said and Ryan raised his eyebrows.

By now Gavin had done most by himself, only once or twice Ryan had actually walked into the line of sight of the girl. Most of the times he would just call for Gavin so that he could act scared and hurry outside.

That was Gavin’s game and he had accepted that.

“What do you need me for?”

“Well, don’t you think I spend way too much time with her?” Gavin asked as he slowly stalked even closer. “You should punish me for that.”

“Meaning you want her to pity you.”

“I’m the poor victim here,” Gavin pretended but couldn’t quite stop smiling. “Just saying, it might hurry things up.”

“Well, if you put it like that.”

He waited until Gavin stood right in front of him and this time the younger moved. Feeling Gavin pressed up against his body never grew old and he wrapped one arm around him to keep him right there while he cupped his face. It was Gavin who pressed their lips together, nearly gently but Gavin wasn’t gentle and Ryan didn’t pretend to fall for it.

He could feel Gavin’s pulse beneath his fingers, hard and excited. Which was no surprise after what he had just asked him to do. They both were.

Gavin pulled back a little, allowing them both to take a breath.

“Hurt me,” he whispered and Ryan could feel the shiver work through him. His heart picked up, his hairs standing on edge but he didn’t ask, didn’t have to hesitate.

In some twisted way he had waited so long for those words.

The hand cupping Gavin’s jaw moved down and he let his thumb travel over the other’s Adam’s apple. It was good to feel Gavin shake against him but it felt better to hear his breath hitch as he squeezed.

Looking up, he found Gavin’s hooded eyes watching him. They were dark, lost somewhere far inside and now his mouth was falling open, asking for a breath. It was a reflex more than anything because now Gavin was pushing against him, begging his hand to squeeze tighter and even after all this time, that had never happened before.

Ryan growled, feeling the lust wash through him in waves as he slammed his lips against the other’s. It was hungry and it was primal but it felt good.

He could kill Gavin just like that, and he had even asked him to do it.

It was perfect. The sunlight falling through the dusty windows into the old kitchen, the soft press of Gavin’s tongue against his even though he should be lightheaded.

Even the sagging weight as his knees grew weak - it was all welcome as Ryan kept him right where he wanted him to be. Gavin didn’t pull back, didn’t even move to push him back, just laid his hands against Ryan’s chest and let it happen.

Still, Ryan couldn’t do it.

It was perfect, or at least nearly as good as it was going to get, but it didn’t feel right. Not the right time, he tried to tell himself.

Gavin was still playing his game and he would feel bad to take this from him.

Yeah, that was the reason he let go.

Gavin didn’t move away, just took a deep breath right against Ryan’s lips before slumping against him. He caught him and held him close while the other gasped, stroking through his hair to calm him down, wanting nothing more than to bend him over the table.

Pliant and warm and teasing, just like always.

Instead he filled the glass again and helped him drink it. The mark of his hand was deep red around his throat, turning blue while he watched.

“Thanks,” Gavin whispered.

 

Later when he followed Gavin down to the barn, the marks were deep red in the setting sun. He heard the girl gasp as she saw Gavin, calling his name. It was nearly endearing.

"What did he do to you?" she asked over and over again. "Oh God, Gavin! Let me take a look at you, are you hurt anywhere else?"

"It's not as bad as it looks," he assured her and his voice sounded wrecked. It wasn't even played and it wouldn't go away, no matter how much water Gavin drank.

It added a nice touch.

"I had worse, I really am alright, Jessy."

"You're not! Oh, we have to flee! We have to flee before he kills us! Gavin, we have to get out of here!"

It was quiet for a long moment in which neither of them spoke. Ryan didn't even dare to shift at the door, fearing the girl would notice him but then Gavin spoke, shaky little words, "I guess you're right."

 

That night when Gavin stole himself into his bed, he was like a little child, too excited to sleep.

"I will get the keys to her chain," he said smugly as he pressed cold feet against Ryan's legs. "But only to the lock at the wall. I will act surprised that the other key doesn't fit her cuffs but we will have to work with it. I will even help her with carrying the chain so that she doesn't get tangled in it. That way she won't be able to flee because I got her on a literal leash." He chuckled at that, pressed against the hand in his hair. "We will do it at night while you will be asleep but of course you will be there and catch us. God, she will be so scared."

Ryan could feel him shiver at his side and pulled him closer, as if he needed to warm him. "What then? What's your goal?"

"I want her to realise that I've been playing her," Gavin whispered quickly. "I want to see it in her eyes and after that... after that I don't care anymore."

"I can kill her then?"

"Sure. The moment I see it, I am done. Do whatever you want then."

He should protest. Too dangerous, too risky but most of all in the dark. He wouldn't be able to clearly see the light vanish, Gavin would have all the fun while he just got a fraction of it.

But it was Gavin's game and maybe he should rather be glad that he got anything at all.

"Okay," he found himself agreeing. "Let's do it like that."

 

It was a few nights later when they went for their plan. It went just like Gavin had anticipated, and that left Ryan with an eerie feeling. To watch Gavin leave towards the barn in the night and just wait for him to come back out with the girl, like he was chasing livestock to a slaughterhouse.

It was disgusting and cold hearted and still Ryan stood in the shadows, waiting for his time.

Gavin had been excited before going outside but now as he stepped out from the barn, he had his mask on. Terrified and quiet as he turned back around, whispering something that Ryan couldn't quite catch. He held the old chain in his hands and the girl appeared by his side.

They hurried over the dusty field towards the front gate, right towards him and the girl's end.

Stepping out of his shadows, he watched as it unfolded like expected.

First the freezing in fear, then the panic. The girl calling for Gavin to run, to flee while she did the same but in her own horror, she didn't notice that he didn't move. No, Gavin just watched her, with a funny earnest expression on his face and then he tugged at the chain.

It pulled tight, making the girl fall on her side with a grunt of pain.

Ryan strode towards her as she fought to get back up but it was futile. Gavin was keeping her down, pulling whenever she tried to get to her feet.

She screamed his name, screamed to let her go. She even still screamed for Gavin to run as well, to not just stand there.

Deep inside she had to realize what was happening but her head wasn't catching up.

Ryan reached her and pushed her down and still her eyes moved to Gavin. Asking for help or for anything, really. He let her search, heard how Gavin stepped closer and then he could see it.

Even in the dim light around it was clear as day as she realized she had been played. It was a bit funny, Ryan expected Gavin to make a big deal out of it, to rub it in her face but he didn't say a word.

Maybe it was his own form of mercy.

Throwing a look towards him, Ryan found him quiet, face a little drawn which was strange enough. The excitement from before was gone, the morbid amusement and even the anger he sometimes showed during scenes like this was just not there. Ryan waited for a signal from him, to make him wait or show him that he wasn't done but nothing ever came.

In the end he just wrapped his hands around the throat of the crying girl and squeezed.

He had worried about the darkness before but just like the betrayal he could see it all. Maybe it would be even clearer in the light but there was no way to find it anymore. The light faded from her eyes, slowly, even though she didn't put up much of a fight because the betrayal still burned and ached.

It didn't take long and when Ryan sat back, he barely wasted another look at her.

Gavin was still standing a few steps behind, no smile and no mocking word on his lips. It was strange to see him this dark, this closed off and with a sudden panic, Ryan wondered if they had made a mistake. If Gavin had grown attached to her more than he had realized and was regretting it now.

Ryan waited for his judgement but it never came.

Without another word Gavin turned around and headed back into the farm house.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to pretend that those two are my most fucked up charas but nah.   
> Remember Ray ins Castle of Glass? 
> 
> But yeah, next week is already the final - whaaaaat!  
> Any predictions?


	5. Window To The Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you know the feeling when you are really looking forward to something but in your big stupid head it was so much better? Reality is just… just so washed out.”
> 
> “Killing her wasn’t how you expected it to be?”
> 
> “No,” he whispered. “Not at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading your guy's theories was a lot of fun!  
> Let's see if anyone got it right!

Chapter 5

Window To The Soul

 

That night Gavin didn’t join him in bed, choosing instead to lock himself in the smaller room down the hall he had claimed as his own before but never really used.

Ryan had knocked after finishing up outside but there had been no answer.

It was strange. Gavin wasn’t the type of person to grieve or get emotional over something like that. Most of all not over another human being.

Also they had planned it. It had been Gavin’s idea, Gavin’s work.

Laying alone in his own bed, Ryan couldn't figure it out. His side felt cold, his outstretched arm strangely useless without another head resting on it.

He hadn’t realized that he had grown so used to the presence of the other.

Still, he slept quite well. The memory of her bright eyes, how the light had faded and how smooth her skin had been beneath his fingers - it was like a lullaby.

When he woke up, Gavin sat at the foot of his bed, looking out of the window.

The sun flooded the room, painted him golden in the early light and like this Ryan could watch him for hours. 

Gavin hadn’t even noticed that he was awake, he seemed too deep in thought, and it was a peaceful sight only disturbed by a rhythmic clicking. Ryan didn’t dare to sit up and check on what it was, he didn’t want the other to move, to turn around and look at him.

So for the longest time they stayed like that, the light moving through the room and the few clouds outside throwing occasional shadows onto them. The marks around Gavin’s neck were fading and pale, and Ryan wanted to take proper care of them, wanted them to disappear just as much as he wanted to press deeper ones into the delicate skin.

In the end it was Gavin who sighed and threw him a look, not the slightest bit surprised that he was awake. The sunlight caught in something in his hands and Ryan realized that the rhythmic noise came from the golden lighter. He watched as Gavin opened and closed the lid with quick fingers before scooting over to sit by Ryan’s side.

“All of it was for nothing,” he said slowly and Ryan turned towards him.

“What do you mean?”

Gavin looked tired as he searched for his answer. “Do you know the feeling when you are really looking forward to something but in your big stupid head it was so much better? Reality is just… just so washed out.”

“Killing her wasn’t how you expected it to be?”

“No,” he whispered. “Not at all.”

“Did you feel sorry for her?” Ryan asked tentatively. “Did you want to save her, to run away with her? If you had told me to stop, I w-”

“That’s not it,” Gavin interrupted him. He turned away, eyes searching for the window again and finally he let go of the lighter, letting it slip into his lap. When he spoke, his words hung above them in the silence. “I didn’t feel a thing.”

Ryan raised his eyebrows in disbelief. That couldn’t be true, not after all that preparation, not after he got to know that girl. The amount of hours he spent with her, the topics they had talked about.

It seemed impossible to not feel even a little remorse, a hint of sadness. Fuck, even Ryan had felt it, simply because he had listened to some of those conversations without really having one himself!

But he couldn’t say that to Gavin, he looked too warm and fragile in the sun.

“What do you mean?” he settled on. 

“I tried to,” Gavin went on. “I tried to feel something, to remember her face and the things she told me. I could recall it all so easily but it… all those things that were her soul… they just meant nothing to me. I stood there and watched you kill her and there was just nothing but emptiness. All these days and weeks and the preparations. For nothing.”

He reached out to rub his face and Ryan didn’t know what to say, didn’t dare to touch him.

He would like to think that Gavin was lying but he could see that it wasn’t the case.

“We planned it and we prepared it,” Gavin said, muffled by his hand. “So much time. It was suppose to be my masterpiece, a fantasy come true and it worked out so damn perfectly but in the end, that last final moment…”

He trailed off and Ryan sat up in the bed. “She did realize it though,” he said carefully. “She realized it all in the end before she died.”

“I know,” Gavin breathed out a humorless laugh. “I noticed how you saw it, the look you threw at me, but there was nothing. Her eyes were empty and there was just… just nothing at all. I can’t see it, I am not able to. I can’t see the light you are talking about, I can’t see the human. Those are just… just eyes.”

Gavin let his hand fall back into his lap before turning towards Ryan. He looked wrecked and desperate but deep inside was something darker. In the eyes that he claimed were so empty, Ryan could see a lurking fear.

“What is wrong with me?” he asked desperately. “I am scared of what’s missing.”

It wasn’t the first time Gavin had said it but always as a joke, in a mocking tone to make fun out of it. This time it was a cry for help and Ryan didn’t know the answer.

 

They went about their day as usua. Eating breakfast together, their normal smalltalk, though he could tell that Gavin was still thinking about it. After eating, he threw a look towards the barn but there was no reason to go there anymore.

Afterwards they spent their time with cleaning up. It was a mundane, quiet work but somehow therapeutic. Destroying evidence, covering trails and things like that.

Gavin took care of the barn even though Ryan had offered to do it. He stayed over there for nearly two hours but Ryan didn’t quite dare to check on him, fearing what he might find.

Instead he took care of a late lunch and then they packed their remaining things. It wasn’t much but somehow all they needed.

They would head off the next day, towards their next destination no matter where it was. Neither of them had a real plan and Ryan knew that he himself was sated for now, but he couldn’t speak for Gavin.

Couldn’t foresee what he would do next; would they fall into the same pattern as before? Would he try this game again or even worse?

What would he do to feel something, to see a hint of humanity?

He would have to see.

In the night Gavin joined him again. He wasn’t relaxed or pliant like usual. His movements were desperate, hands grasping and pulling while teeth scraped and bit.

Ryan pressed his own marks into the tan skin, scratching for the sun inside that seemed so weak today.

They fell asleep in silence without any of their routine teasing.

Just a few hours later Ryan was shaken awake with Gavin looming over him.

“We need to go,” he was told, and blinking, he tried to see in the dark. Gavin was already dressed, his backpack on his shoulders while Ryan was still naked.

“What?” he managed to get out, but Gavin was already pulling his blanket away and throwing his shirt to him.

“I said, we need to go. Now,” he repeated and a pang of fear stroke through Ryan.

The police. They must have found them.

He didn’t know how exactly but that didn’t matter. He quickly began dressing while Gavin looked out of the window. There was light dancing over his face and in the fog of sleep Ryan could nearly pretend it were police lights only that the color didn’t fit.

Stepping closer, he saw the fire outside. Flames climbing up the barn, feeding on the dry wood and the remaining hay inside.

“What the fuck?” Ryan mumbled.

“It’s pretty,” was all Gavin had to say to that before turning around. “We should hurry.”

But Ryan was still staring at the fire because he knew who had done this, could clearly remember the golden lighter in Gavin’s hand, and hadn’t he been charged with arson before?

He hurried to catch the boy in the hallway. “Why did you do that?”

Gavin didn’t bother to answer and so he grasped his shoulders and slammed him into the wall. “Gavin!”

Gavin lifted his head to watch him but still didn’t open his mouth. He wasn’t even alarmed, just watched Ryan with a certain curiosity.

“Why did you do that? It could have taken months until anyone would have found her but now it’s only a matter of time until someone notices the fire and sends the fire department!”

No reaction. There was nothing on Gavin’s face, nothing in his eyes and he didn’t even try to free himself. Ryan was pretty sure that if he didn't take the initiative, they would still be standing here when the fire department arrived.

Cursing, he let Gavin go and hurried down into the foyer where they had left their bags. There was no time to save their food now but he could buy new things. What mattered was his backpack and he shouldered it before hurrying outside.

Instantly the heat greeted him, the cracking wood, the rushing of flames.

It was terrifying how quickly the fire had grown since he moved from the bedroom upstairs.

He threw his bag into the trunk of the car before turning around. Gavin hadn’t followed him, and for a moment Ryan was certain that he was still standing in the hallway and would continue to do so.

“Fuck…” He went back inside and started to climb the stairs when he heard Gavin move in the kitchen. The clicking of his lighter was a lost noise inside and Ryan watched how he held the flames to a pile of towels next to the curtains.

There was a distant smell of gas in the air and when the fire caught, Gavin quickly stepped back.

It was such a shame, Ryan thought as they watched the flames climb. It was such a nice house even if it had been rundown. It had been enough for them and with some work…

Now nothing would be left behind and it filled him with an unreasonable sadness.

When Gavin was forced to step back from the heat and turn around, they both moved outside without another word.

Gavin let himself fall into the passenger seat and watched the flames through the windows while Ryan drove off. He already started to miss this place, it had reminded him of home.

He was pretty sure Gavin knew this.

Maybe that was a reason as to why he burned it.

The fire was bright in the rearview mirror, even brighter on Gavin’s face who wasn’t able to avert his eyes.

Only when they left the red gleam behind did the boy turn back around. Leaning his head against the window, he fell asleep as if nothing had happened and left Ryan alone with his thoughts.

They drove through the day without stopping anywhere to get some distance between them and the farm. For once they had the radio on to listen for any news regarding the incident but apparently some kind of football game was more important. Which either meant they hadn't found the body yet or it said a lot about society.

Gavin didn't apologize, didn't even deflect Ryan's questions. He just chose not to answer, and after a few hours he began his usual babbling, wondering loudly how many grains of sand would fill a small bottle.

Ryan let him to his own mysteries because he was tired and his head hurt and he was hungry.

Honestly, he was angry. Everything had worked out so great, but because it hadn't played out for Gavin, he had to ruin everything. Such a childish reaction! 

He was too exhausted to fight right now and in the late afternoon he drove into the parking lot of some motel. Gavin didn't even bother with getting a room, he just waited for him to settle that as well and when they entered their room, he lazily dropped onto his bed.

"We need food," Ryan said and Gavin nodded. If he heard Ryan's strained tone, he didn't show it, because he made no move to get something.

Maybe if Ryan insisted then he would go, but he was tired of it. Tired and hungry and he needed time for himself.

Throwing his backpack onto the floor, he took the keys and threw the door shut behind him.

Gavin didn't call and didn't follow and so he walked out of the motel and down the street. There was a fastfood place close by but he passed it without even a glance. They hadn't drove by anything for a long time and still he followed the street. Maybe just to take a walk, to collect his thoughts.

To make a decision.

The light in Gavin's eyes had been so weak, the sun cooled off since the murder.

It could be just because of his inner turmoil, a brief eclipse, but what if it wasn't?

He could wait, right? Wait for the sun to return, but also take the risk that it wouldn't happen. That the sun was dying and what a shame that would be.

His second option was to kill Gavin now. To at least let the light dim by his own hands. But he had to act very soon, while there was more than a spark left to watch.

He returned without a real answer and a bag full of burgers. A few more days. He could give Gavin a few more days to get back his light.

When he unlocked the door to their room, he froze because Gavin was talking to someone. He heard him move around nervously, his voice rising and falling as he listened.

He didn't sound agitated or scared so it probably wasn't the police but he knew how good Gavin could play his role. On the other hand he didn't hear any second voice so he was probably on the phone.

"I'll tell him," Gavin said. "Yeah, I wish you a good evening as well. Bye"

It grew quiet and Ryan pushed the door open. Gavin was standing by the dirty window and looked up from the phone. He immediately paled before taking a step towards him. "Sorry," he mumbled and held his hand out.

It took a moment for Ryan to realize that it was his own phone the other was holding and now it seemed obvious who Gavin had talked to. Only his mother called him.

Something in him snapped in that moment.

"It didn't stop ringing, so I-"

It didn't matter. None of these words mattered because Ryan was on him in two long strides and pushed him back. Gavin gasped as his head slammed loudly against the wall. The phone fell forgotten onto the filthy carpet.

"Rya-" The words got cut off as he wrapped first one hand and then the other around Gavin's throat and squeezed.

"I told you to stay away from them!" Ryan growled. One rule! He had this one rule and Gavin had just gone an-

The boy's mouth dropped open in a useless gasp as he rained punches against Ryan's arms. It did nothing for him, Ryan was too furious and Gavin had to get onto his tiptoes to not lose the floor beneath. His eyes were slits but the light was back as he fought against Ryan's grip and Ryan dug his thumbs in, felt the racing pulse under his skin.

He would kill him.

It wasn't perfect, not how he had expected it to happen, but he was too angry, too tired of all this shit.

A part of him figured it was fitting in his own right to finish Gavin in a room that was as rotten and filthy as himself.

Something burned his wrists and he ripped his hands away from the fire.

Gavin instantly collapsed into a heap on the floor, gasping as the lighter fell from his hands. With a groan, he rolled himself onto his front and threw up what little he had in his stomach.

Ryan just watched, nursing the small burn on his skin. The anger was still there but he was just so exhausted. Still, a part of him wanted to kick and punch and hurt some more but he couldn't move.

Heaving, Gavin coughed and spluttered until he got enough air into his lungs to spit out: "Fuck you!" His hands traveled until he could grasp his lighter again. "Fuck you, Ryan. I was just telling her that you forgot your phone!"

"I told you to stay away from them," Ryan said and flinched under the harsh glare Gavin somehow managed to pull off even though he was cowering on the ground next to his own puke.

"It kept ringing," he responded breathless. "You fucking asshole. Always acting so high and mighty and in control when you can't do shit!" Wiping his mouth, Gavin braced himself on the wall and slowly stood. His legs were shaking so much that he had to keep leaning against it. "If it wasn't for me you'd been caught so easily! You lose your cool so quickly, that you wouldn't even care if people watched you kill someone as long as you got to watch them die!"

"I don't need you."

Gavin laughed. It was scratchy and he quickly reached up to rub his throat. For a second Ryan wanted to get him a glass of water.

"You don't need me, sure. Best joke you’ve made yet." He spat on the ground and grimaced at the taste. "You think I don't see the way you look at me? You think I don't notice your touches and your cutesy kisses? Fucking idiot. I just wanted a nice shag but you... you went ahead and got  _ attached! _ If you weren't useful to me-" He didn't finish that sentence, just shook his head. Pushing himself off the wall, he shouldered past Ryan and snatched his backpack from the floor.

The door fell shut but Ryan didn't bother to turn around. He kept staring at the place Gavin had been just a minute before and tried to tell himself that it was a lie. He hadn't grown attached. How could the other say that after he had nearly killed him?

The words burned and left him confused, sapped of any energy.

It took a long time until he could shake himself from his own thoughts, then he made sure that the door and the window were closely locked. Maybe Gavin would come back in the night to finish his threat.

Sitting down on the bed, he went through his backpack but couldn't find his gun anymore. Of course not.

It was impossible to say when Gavin had taken it. It just made him feel more stupid to not have noticed sooner.

He ate the burgers himself and went to bed alone.

Gavin didn't return that night, and he also wasn’t waiting by the car the next morning. No sign of him anywhere, and after Ryan paid for the room he threw his backpack in and took off.

There were no traces left of him besides the red skin on Ryan's wrists where he had burned him. It would fade soon enough though, and then Gavin was gone.

It left him with a bitter taste and of course Gavin's words had been a lie. He had just hoped to finish him off, to watch the sun one more time and that was the only reason why he slowed down when he saw the lonely figure walking down the street.

Gavin had managed quite a distance, which probably meant that he had been walking for a few hours. He looked up when he heard the car approach and he had to recognize it, no way he didn't.

Gavin waited like he knew Ryan would stop next to him and Ryan hated that he did.

It was a grotesque reenacting of their first meeting just without a word spoken. Gavin opened the door and let himself fall into the seat, fighting with his backpack.

He pulled the door closed and Ryan drove off, watching in the corner of his eyes how Gavin pulled a bottle of water out and drank it.

There was a collar of colorful bruises around his throat and for the first time Ryan realized that the other needed to re dye his hair.

Brown was showing through the blond.

They didn't speak, just drove on through this nowhere, Gavin looking out of the window and Ryan watching the street.

The first noise was the confused hum he made as he saw another car, parking on the side of the road. Gavin turned around at that, frowning as well.

It was a sleek, black car, and while they still watched, the door opened and someone stepped out.

A young guy, maybe Gavin's age who wore a hoodie even in this heat, but more important was the pink gun he lifted.

Ryan searched for the break or the gas, couldn't decide while Gavin gasped loudly next to him before there was a loud pang. Ryan lost control of the car as it suddenly swerved to the left and they came to an abrupt stop.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he gasped before throwing a look towards Gavin. "You alright?"

"Yeah," he answered and reached for his backpack, hopefully to search for the gun. "What is going on, Rye? Who are these people?"

"I don't kno-" He looked back outside just to find two other men walking up to them. His hand reached for his keys but instantly there were guns pointed at him.

"Oh god," he heard Gavin whisper, and then their doors were thrown open.

They were roughly pulled out and Ryan fought against the grip. He knew he was strong but that other guy was stronger. He could see a mop of brown curls before he was slammed onto the hood of the car, a gun jammed against his head.

He held still as the hot metal burned against his chest. Opposite of him Gavin was also pushed down by a short guy who easily held him down with just one hand.

"That was easy," he said and reached up to straighten a damn cowboy hat of all things.

"Yeah, because you got the stick," the guy behind Ryan said. "I'll blast this guy's brain out if he so much as moves. You hear that, motherfucker? It's a fucking promise!"

"Charming as always." That was the kid with the hoodie. He came out of the car and dumped both of their backpacks onto the street. With sure hands he secured the gun and the knife before laughing. Pulling the skullmask out from the other clothes, he held it up high. "Jack, look!" he called. "We got the right ones!"

Ryan couldn't see who Jack was, hadn't even noticed a fourth person, but now he saw red high heels approaching in the corner of his eye.

"Good work," a woman said before walking right through their stuff. Ryan's phone cracked beneath her feet. 

"Michael, I think he learned his lesson."

Ryan was let go but he knew there was still at least one gun pointed at him, so he straightened slowly.

The woman was tall in her business suit and appeared not in the slightest bit disturbed by the heat.

"Hello, Vagabond," she greeted him before turning towards Gavin. "And also Free. Good to finally meet you guys in person."

"How do you know us?" Gavin asked through clenched teeth. He was still being pushed down but with a small movement of her hand, he was let go.

"We have ways of getting our information," she explained.

"And what do you want from us?" Ryan asked now. He wanted to snap at her but didn't quite dare. That Michael guy was still uncomfortably close.

"You caught someone's eye as it seems. And that someone has an offer to make for both of you."

"We don't accept any offers," Ryan grunted.

"I don't think you quite understand," Jack said amused. "If Geoff Ramsey makes you an offer, you accept, or you end up dead on some road."

The name rang a distant bell in his head, but he couldn't place it until Michael shoved him roughly.

"Welcome to the Fake AH Crew, bitch."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohohoho, it was an origin story all this time!  
> I tried to show it here and there, the golden boy Gavin and ofc the Vagabond with his creepy mask. I saw some stories who had them starting out together before joining the crew, so I figured I would give it my own try.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it and big thanks to Riley for betaing this story!
> 
> Next week will be a one-shot called "Atlas" and the week after starts my new and large story "Unfolding Time" which will be a Fantasy AU!
> 
> Thank you guys for reading!!!


End file.
